A Storm of Swords Entry I

As I mentioned to CB, I find the Prologues to be rather difficult to get through. In ASOS, we start out beyond the wall at the Fist. Hints and the acknowledgement in the beginning of the book suggest that this is at the same time when Jon et al. are up lookign for the secret in the mountain. Chett, the dude who Jon got Sam to replace as the Maester's assistant, is planning a rebellion. Him and some other dudes are going to kill Mormont and some other people (including Sam or Ser Piggy as he calls him hahah) and then either desert the Night's Watch or hope that Mormont's successor is going to flee. They go back and Sam is taking archery practice and actually hits a target (methinks we have a potential nut in the making here. Sam is gonna kill someone important). Mormont calls everyone and announces that they are leaving the fist to lead secret attacks on Mance's troops. Chett goes to sleep only to be woken up prematurely by three blasts of the warhorn. This is no good b/c it means not a returning ranger, not an attack, but the Others. Ruh roh.
JN Note: I agree, the prologues are sort of different and rough bc they are new characters. This one sets up some dischord in the Watch though, and of course the arrival of Others. what will happen? Will Sam be alright?!
CB Note: "OMGEEE WHATZ GONNA HAPPENZ?!?!" Sigh. Didn't Chett pee himself or someting? lol! Also, do you notice somewhat of a theme in the prologues of each book?
RK Note: Chett DID pee himself, totally!! But I don't blame him because when I heard the Others were coming, I almost peed myself too. I want to bring up a distinction that has only become clear to be in ASOS that I never realized in prior books-- that the "wights" and the "Others" are apparently DIFFERENT things-- there appears to be "wights" that take the shape of dead people and dead animals that look like their actual recognizable forms but are like zombies sort of, walking dead with their flesh hanging off and stuff, and then there's the Others that are silvery shapes with those piercing blue eyes. They both come and try to kill everyone. Is this accurate or am I confused?

Cut to....Jaime...huh? I was so confused as to why we have Jaime chapters all of a sudden. He's on a boat with Brienne and his cousin. Turns out Catelyn didn't kill him but sent him back to King's Landing for an exchange with her daughters. Sigh. Jaime is such a d-bag. He keeps calling Brienne wench or something and she is pissed. I hope she totally kicks his ass. She should be slapping him across the face constantly. Funny scene where he shaves his head because he doesn't want poeple to see him in chains. They stop at some tree where some of Robb's peeps string up a bunch of tavern whores who slept with Lannister men. They are all so cruel! What happened to due process guys!?!? They are trying to bury them when they see a ship pursuing them. Turns out it is people from Riverrun who are trying to get the Kingslayer back. They are about to do so when Brienne climbs up on the side and drops a huge rock onto the pursuing ship. Ha! Brienne is so bad ass. I love it. Jaime makes some smug comment about how he could have just rowed away with his cousin and escaped. I doubt so jackass. Brienne is the one who is gonna get you safely back to Kings Landing.
JN Note: The first great twist of ASOS - JAIME CHAPTERS! totally unexpected, and the first view from one of the real Lannister bad guys (as opposed to tyrion). and he is so mean to brienne, he deserves whatever she does to him. poor Brienne hte Beauty. and even the Stark peeps killed innocent people? le sigh. there is just no rule of law during these war times. its totes like hte GWOT!
CB Note: Jaime chapters were a BIG surprise. Can't wait to see what you think of them moving forward! I'm also a big fan of Brienne!
RK Note: What is the GWOT? I LOVE Brienne and I sort of like Jaime too, seeing the world through his eyes from his perspective has really changed my impressions! Of course, Jaime grew on me later in the book and not so early on. Brienne is the best though!

Cut to Catelyn who is in biiiiiiiiiig trouble for setting Kingslayer free. At her own suggestion, they confine her to her father's chamber until Edmure returns. Her father is deteriorating. He keeps on saying something about how he's so sorry Tansy. Catelyn surmises that this is actually Lysa and figures she was pregnant when her dad married her to Jon Arryn. Catelyn writes to Lysa to come and forgive her father so he can die in peace. Then Edmure comes back and is pissed at Catelyn and tells her he's sent people after them and has put Roose Bolton at Harrenhal at alert to capture Jamie and Brienne. Sigh.
JN Note: Catelyn, how could you be so stupid? le sigh. That tansy story sure was interesting. if you nutted it, do you have any guesses on who knocked her up?!
CB Note: Catelyn was just in an emotional place! She's lost two of her children!!! She wants to get all of her living children back! It might not have been smart, but you can imagine the place her mind was in. I also liked the tansy story.
RK Note: I wasn't 100% sold on Tansy being Lysa, but I did believe the story about Lysa being pregnant before her dad married her to Jon Arryn, Catelyn totally figured that out. I bet Petyr Baelish Littlefinger knocked her up!!!! But could Tansy also be someone ELSE important from her father's life?

Short and rather boring Arya chapter. They're traveling from Harrenhal and she falls asleep on her horse and has a wolf dream where she kills some of the Bloody Mummers. They don't reach the Trident yet.
JN Note: this was a set up chapter and a litle boring yea, though some of us appreciated the total awesomeness of Arya dreaming Nymeria and her pack saving them! i hope they find eachother before the end!
CB Note: Baby! That's not at all how I would have said it. Sigh. I would have said that Bran has his dreams where he's in Summer. John has had a dream where he's ghost....so Arya's dream must mean.....(and now that you've said it) that Nymeria is alive and safe and somehow looking out for Arya!
RK Note: I LOVE when Arya dreams of Nymeria, which must mean Nymeria is alive and still a part of her and they will be reunited at some point!!! I hope soon!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was clear back in ACOK though that the "big pack of wolves" terrorizing the forests lead by the biggest wolf ever is Nymeria with a pack of regular wolves.

To Tyrion who finds out that many of his plans and his control over Kings Landing has been undone! His head of the City Watch has been killed and Bronn has been made a knight. Bronn comes and appears to be still loyal to Tyrion but who knows. Tyrion goes to his father in the tower of the Hand and sort of suggests he should get his reward, namely his rights to Casterly Rock (since Jaime is a kingsgaurd and kingsgaurd cannot inherit land). Tywin says some nasty things about how he will never inherit Casterly Rock and basically calls him a freak who isn't really his son and threatens him not to fall in love with a whore again. As I said in ACOK, the wya they are treating Tyrion is no good for them. He is going to switch sides or something!
JN Note: Tyrion knew tywin would totally be an ass, but he asked anyway. it sure is unfair, he did all the work, and stupid tywin and the tyrells and renlys ghost are getting all the credits. NOT FAIR! we will keep in mind this twice projected nut of side switching, for future nut/raisin picure allocation, lb.
CB Note: Yes seriously, how do they not realize how smart and awesome Tyrion is. He's done so much for them and they don't appreciate him at all!! It's like when I do all the cooking and cleaning and don't get any props from JN! He better watch it!
RK Note: Poor Tyrion is treated so terribly by his own family!!! :(

Davos is alive!!!!!!!! Turns out he managed to swim under the chain and washed up on some island. He is reallllly depressed b/c all his sons are lost and he lost his fingers hanging around his neck!!! He has been surviving off of rainwater and crabs and he is contemplating death when he sees a ship in the distance. He surmises it is one of Stannis's ships because of the colors (though he cannot read) and he somehow calls them over to rescue him. Ohhhh Davos. I hope you go back and kill Melisandre that creepy biotch.
JN Note: did i tell you, or did i not tell you, that you would find out if davos was alive in ASOS? nut for me!!! good thing it was a stannis ship. yay davos! (btw, he kinda needed to live, so we could find otu what happy-happed to stannis and melisandre!). oh, also, re melisandre, wasnt it kinda not her fault they lost the battle?
CB Note: Double sigh. Baby, no nuts for things you already know!!!! Dont be ridonkulous! I think if melisandre was at the battle, it would have turned out way different cause she could have just birthed hundreds of shadow fighters to kill everybody. lol.
RK Note: It seems like she needs a partner to birth shadow figures and perhaps Stannis wasn't strong enough after birthing the last shadow? Like she needs a man to create shadows with like a baby? Also, it seems clear there's magic here and R'Hllor and the Red people can definitely get things accomplished... And I haven't seen the powers of the Seven and the Weirwoods and the Drowned God do antyhing yet, just R'Hllor... Soooo does this mean R'Hllor is the right god to be worshipping after all??!?!! I don't know what religion to adhere to!

Hilllarious Sansa chapter. She receives a dinner invite from Maergery. She is escorted over by Flower Knight and essentially makes a fool of herself by bringing up Renley. She gets there and is at dinner with Maergery and Maergery's grandmother, who people call the Queen of Thorns. Grandma is HILLARIOUS and speaks her mind. Turns out she is not happy with the match and wants to know the truth about Joffrey. Sansa is nervous to say anything at first (as she should be; she has learned not to trust anyone). She ends up telling the truth though, that Joffrey is a complete monster. Maergery suggests that they are going to get Sansa out to Higharden to marry her brother. Another hillarious moment where Sansa is all excited b/c she thinks she is marryign Loras, but is wrong obviously because he is kingsgaurd. Instead she is going to marry his older crippled brother (parralel to Bran?) I wonder who/if anyone will actually get her out of Kings Landing? Fool Knight or Granny?
JN Note: A BEAR, A BEAR, ALL BLACK AND BROWN, AND COVERED IN HAIR!! (not my bear sillies). this chapter was terrific. good by sansa not to be trusting, but i hope she gest out of there. Queen of Thorns is totes an awesome new character. great chapter all around. also, that loras leading sansa portion was great, for humor, and other reasons. Care to make a guess if sansa's savior will be Granny, Dontos, or none of the above?
CB Note: I looooove the Queen of Thorns! She was so awesome this chapter! I loved her take-no-guff attitude. Oh Knight of Flowers *swoon*
RK Note: There is SOMETHING meaningful about this BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR song that is foreshadowing something, they keep bringing it up too much for it not to be important! But who is the Bear besides the "Old Bear" Commander Mormont of the Night's Watch? I also like the Queen of Thorns!

Jon is with the Wildings and goes to meet Mance. He mistakes some fat dude for Mance but it turns out Mance is the guy singing. They talk alone. We find out a number of things about Mance. He deserted from the Night Watch b/c of some incident where he was healed by a wilding who gave him this piece of red cloth and they wouldn't allow him to wear it b/c he has to wear black. Mance, it turns out, was at Winterfell during Robert's visit!!! He snuck in with Robert's entourage and no one nreally knows what he looks like so they didn't notice. He saw Jon and everyone there. I was so nervous here that Mance would see through Jon. Jon comes up with the brillian answer to why he deserted about "did you see where they had me sit during the feast?" Mance says somehting like "get this man a new cloak!" Phew first test is done!!!
JN Note: not much to say here, just a great answer by jon, well set up and felt badass evne tho it was just an answer ot a question.
CB Note: I also thought this scene was awesome, learning Mance was AT WINTERFELL!! AAAAACKKKKK!!! This is btw where I really wanted book 1 back so that I could reread the chapter with the feast haha. Also loved Jon's answer!
RK Note: Can't believe Mance was at Winterfell! I kind of LIKE Mance Rayder, surprisingly!!!!! I wonder if GRRM really plotted out ALL 7 books ahead of time so he could insert foreshadowing and plant little nuts so far along the way, like Mance being at the feast in AGOT.

To Daenerys who is on the ship with her dragons. Ser Jorah does not trust any of this. After a conversation with the old squire dude about her family (turns out he knew her dad and brother) she retires to bed and is completely nekked when Jorah comes in to convince her to test their loyalty. She is to order them to not go to Magister what's his face but instead go to one of the places in the Slaver's Sea. She is to purchase a bunch of the "Unsullied" from this one city. Story about the Unsullied in Qarth stopping the Dotrhraki at the walls. Danerys agrees that it's a good idea. She is about to get dressed and...Jorah kisses her!! He make some comment about how she is allowed to take husbands. Umm.....I dunno something about this creeps me out. Isn't Jorah supposed to be super old and Daenerys is like 14 or something...sigh...the incest and pedophilia in this book!
JN Note: Unsullied! you'll learn more about them lol. oh Jorah, its not his fault he loves dany. she's dany! i love her! how did this old squire dude know Dany's fam?
CB Note: I agree with the icky factor of old Jorah kissing young Dany. Blech!!! Get off Gramps!!
RK Note: Something in here was a little odd but at the same time I was kind of rooting for Dany to fall for Jorah! I kind of like the guy! And he can't be THAT old, right? Maybe like his 40s? I mean granted Dany is like 14 or 15, but still...