A Clash of Kings Entry 8

Don't have all that much time today but here goes:

Arya is captive and in terrible conditions. Every day they come take one person to torture them and ask questions and eventually kill them. There is this dude, the Tickler, who does all the questioning. Mountain that moves ass dude just stands by and watches. I wonder if they waterboard? They are traveling to Harrenhal and she knows all the names of the stupid people. She will get her revenge and take Needle back!!!!!!!!!!!!! WINTERFELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CB Note: *Insert JN listing all of the names that Arya repeats in her head* What's that? I blog earlier in the day so i can TOTALLY steal JN's thunder?? Well alright then...... Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Polliver, Chiswyck, Raff the Sweetling, the Tickler, the Hound, Ser Amory, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, King Joffrey, Queen Cersei.
JN Note: Thief!!! Thief!!!! Two things: 1) I say this prayer secretly every nite before bed, for Arya's sake. 2) for like 5 days before cb got to this chapter, i would just recite the names on the list at random times, and this would aggravate her greatly... shocking right? She has no sense of humour...
RK Note: I am changing my font to blue because JN's font is too close to mine, and I yield, like Lommy Greenhands, and we all know how well it worked out for him, I hope my yielding to a new font color fares better for me. Anyway that is SO ANNOYING that JN did that to you CB, that sounds quite aggravating.

Tyrion in Kings Landing and we learn that Maester Ammon (name?) is the one who poisoned previous Hand dude and also the one who is spying for Cercei. Tyrion gives Cercei the good news that Stannis and Renley are fighting and then slips her something in her wine to make her sick. Ha!!!! He then confronts Maester Spy and has him confess with one of his mountain folk threatening to cut off his manhood and feed it to the crows. Ha! As JN may say, that Tyrion sure is a Trixxy one.
CB Note: Grand Maester Pycelle is the one in King's Landing who helped with Jon Arryn (the previous Hand's murder) and is spying for Cersei. Perhaps you're confusing his name with Maester Aemon, who is at the Wall.
JN Note: How did tyrion figure out that Pycelle was Cersei's spy??? I thought it was pretty clever of him for how he figured it out. I don't understand, why wouldn't he feed the Maester's you-know-what to the goats, like Shagga is always wanting...?

To Bran who is hanging out with the greenfolk and showing them Summer. Cute seen where he like rolls around with Summer in the grass. Apparently dude has the ability to tell the future in his dreams (we shall call him Angela Petrelli). He starts unnerving Bran with talk of Bran's dreams! Apparently this three eyed crow thing has given Bran the ability but he hasn't taken it yet. They get in a bit of a quarrel when Bran doesn't want to talk anymore and Summer almost attacks but Hodor stops them. Angela Petrelli ends up in a tree! Then Bran goes to Maester what's his face and they talk about how magic doesn't exist. Silly boy magic so does exist!
CB Note: Lol @ Angela Petrelli :) This Maester is Maester Luwin. He thinks magic doesn't exist just cause he couldn't do it himself! I'm all about the greendreams! They're fun.
JN Note: They aren't greenfolk, their from the Neck or bogs. They are called "crannogmen". I prefer Jojen, but if you insist, we will call him Angela. Also, I see that you have not commented on what i instructed you to re-read in yesterday's blog. That means you get a 0 for yesterday's HW assignment. Two more, and you'll be in detention, mister. As for greendreams... the skilled nutter always marks what people are dreaming...
RK Note: Lol to Angela Petrelli, although Jojen is such a cute name. JN taught me one thing, PAY ATTENTION TO THE DREAMS! So I've been trying... The sea coming to Winterfell is WEIRD, how could that be possible?! I hope Bran doesn't really drown for real. Poor kid has been through enough!

Back to Tyrion who gets a visit from cousin Lannister who has a command from Cercei to release her Maester spy. Again, we learn new things. Apparently Cercei is now sleeping with her cousin! He is, according to Tyrion, a poor substitute for Jaime. So gross. Cercei needs to like have a genetics lesson and be locked away somewhere far from her relatives for her own good. So freaking gross. Using this information Tyrion turns Cousin into a spy for him. Tyrion is slowly taking control of the entire place!
CB Note: Cousin Lancel! Cersei sure has a type - Lannisters!
PS, I think you skipped over a Dany chapter in your blogging...where she finally gets to Qarth!
JN Note: It's not Cersei's fault! Jaime is muckin' captured, and she needs her Lannister lovin'! Also, its Cersei with an 's'. You always use a 'c'. Love how tyrion threatened Lancel and made him Tyrion's own spy. Tyrion may be a dwarf, but he is as badass as Gimli son of Gloin, or Balin, or Thorin Oakenshield himself!
RK Note: Cersei is SO into incest. She loves it. Its not as fun when its not twincest though. Cousincest just doesn't have the same ring. Remember in Family Law nash, when we learned that its legal in New York to marry your cousin if its not your 1st cousin?

I indeed missed a Dany chapter of Dany with the Quarthians. Indeed the women wear dresses with one boob hanging out. Oh Quarthians. Dany is put up in this huuuuuuuuge castle and has her one wing. She fears that everyone is just using her for her dragons. She sends Mormont out to get news and they find out that Robert has died. (A little late huh?) She should open up a gmail account so she can get news much quicker. That's all I got.
CB Note: Qarth, no U. If only that worked in Scrabble! Now you know how far away they are from Westeros if they're only now finding out about Robert! :) Oh, MotherofDragons@gmail.com!
JN Note: I've been a sking cb to purchase a dress in the Qartheen fashion for over a month now, but they dont have any at Macys for some reason. Now that she's the Mother of Dragons, she's gotta watch out for people tryin' to use her for their own means. I'm confident she'll know what to do tho. Also, I tried to sign up the account MotherofDragons@gmail.com but it was already taken :(
RK Note: I can't believe MotherofDragons@gmail.com is taken! The idea of purchasing a dress in the Qartheen fashion gave me an idea-- Let's dress up as Song of Ice and Fire characters for Halloween this year! (Although clearly no one should dress in the Qartheen fashion). I'm not sure what we'd really wear for our costumes, either. Perhaps this isn't my most brilliant idea.