A Storm of Swords Entry 4

More bad news from Riverrun. The Karstarks are realllllly pissed at Robb for not punishing Catelyn for letting the Kingslayer free. He killed Lord ???s two sons. Robb is faced with the bodies of a Lannister and and a Frey who were taken captive at that battle where they took Jaime. The Karstarks broke into the prison and killed them (unarmed) for revenge. Robb notes at some point how silly this is b/c they didn't kill the sons but Lord ??? Karstark is so pissed he doesn't care. Robb ends up executing him as a traitor. Losing the Karstarks is nooooo good. Also we learn that Lord ??? Karstark promised his daughter and title to anyone who brings Kingslayer's head so now there is gonna be a tonnnn of people hunting Brienne.
CB Note: Lord ??? is Rickard Karstark. He was super pissed about the whole Jaime thing, since he had killed his sons. Also, don't Catelyn and Jeyne have an awkward convo at the end of this chapter?
JN Note: what's this about an awkward conversation? as for hte Karstarks, this is totes a bummer for Robb. being King in the North is hard, yo!
RK Note: Is this where Jeyne wants to know how to comfort Robb and wants advice from his lady mother? Or a different awkward convo? They discuss making a baby?

Speaking of, next is a Jaime chapter. He has some thoughts about how he will send Sansa back if only to defy everyone's expectations and this would amuse him. They stop in a village and are chased by some archers. Oddly sexual scene where Jaime and Brienne do this whole swordfight thing, which ends in Brienne winning and trying to get Jaime to yield (and him pissed that he lost). And then....NOOooo they are caught by the Bloody Mummers. Jaime thinks this is great at first b/c they are (were) his dad's men. Then he finds out they sold out Harrenhal to the Starks. So they take him captive with Brienne to ransom Jaime. They threaten to rape Brienne and Jaime somewhat gallantly tells them that she is highborn and worth a lot of money. Someone's gonna have to be super trixxy to get them out of this situation!
CB Note: Damn those bloody mummers!!!! Stupid Brienne and Jaime should have been on their way instead of wasting so much time fighting and making so much noise! Jaime was gallant when he protected Brienne - is there a softer side of the Kingslayer? Also, I think you left out a liiiiiittle important bit of info that happens at the end of this chapter...
JN Note: i enjoyed the fight between jaime and Brienne, but i dotn remember it being sexual, which is surprising, knowing me and all. as for the Bloody Mummer and that evil Vargo Hoat, ohnoes brienne! cb, stop trying to make lb like jaime, he's evil. i hoep he gets what's coming to him, or that he gets dealt a bad hand, if you know what i mean...
RK Note: The capture by the Brave Companions is really all Jaime's fault for trying to run off on Brienne and them wasting time loudly fighting!! But Jaime does show his soft side when he tries to make them think there are sapphires on Tarth. And yeah way to not mention Jaime getting his HAND CHOPPED OFF!!! Damn that Vargo Hoat... Lol to Jaime getting dealt a bad hand. I kind of like Jaime!!! He shows a much softer side!!

Next to Arya. They are riding about trying to find Beric and Thoros who apparently operate much like a modern terrorist organization by having small cells who dont' know where the leader is....They see a bunch of people including the Lady of the Leaves who reminds me of the elves in LOTR cause they live in trees. They stop at this high hill place that was sacred to the children of the forest and Arya wakes up to a storm and heres this old creepy woman talking to Lem about her dream. It's something about a burning heart butchering a Stag and a drowned crow. Stag is Baratheon. Burning heart? Drowned crow? I hope the drowned crow isn't Bran or Jon. They then go to this one lord's house and when the lady realizes Arya is highborn she makes her like bath and dress all pretty and Arya is pissed. I lol'd here. She tells them where to find Beric. Hilarious scene where Gendry and Arya have this awkwardly sexual fight scene rolling around in the mud.
CB Note: Haha I lovvvved when that woman tried to make Arya bathe and wear a dress. So funny!! Then she messes it up when fighting with Gendry and she has to do it all over again. Oh Arya! Nice parallel with the terrorist org. lol. I think J will tell you that you should always pay extra attention to anyone's dreams! Especially old women in the forest, cause if anyone would have a prophecy, I think it'd be them.
JN Note: its true, cb loves when arya is being tomboyish. as for the Ghost of High Heart and her dreams (i wonder what color they are), i would say, "it goes without saying," except that based on your recounting of last book's House of the Undying chapter, and of this chapter, it obviously doesnt go without saying, so: The astute squirrel reads dreams by creepy old women who live in trees full of nuts closely. Because what's written in thei blog.... its totes a mess!
RK Note: LOL to terrorist cell analogy and LOTR. Maybe I need to go back and re-read the House of the Undying chapter.... all these dreams are so cryptic!

To Dany who is trying to buy some Unsullied. Funny scene with her and the slave trader who thinks she doesn't understand Valyrian and is speaking through a translator. He keeps lying and saying like "Tell the stupid whore that..." Very good bargaining technique on Dany's part. She is super upset by the way the Unsullied are trained. They are eunuchs and are given some drug to not feel pain. They have all these terrible rituals like being forced to kill a newborn baby. They are given a puppy for a year and then they have to strangle it! Horrible. Dany is pissed at Jorah for kissing her and taking her to this place and she basically yells at him but then says she is gonna buy the Unsullied b/c she needs an army.
CB Note: Haha, I loved when Dany pretended not to understand what they were saying! The Unsullied training is definitely scary sounding. But I suppose it does make for a good army.
JN Note: great chapter, fo sho. Love that dany! terrific bargaining and negotiating tactic. i wonder if high priced lawyers like lb do that.
RK Note: The Unsulled Training is SO SAD. Killing puppies and infants? HORRIBLE!!!! Love Dany though!!!

To Bran who is walking up with Jojen Meera and Hodor ("Hodor!") They stay one night in a cave with some dude who gives them food and complains about how things were better with the Starks. They are walking and Meera starts telling them a story about this person from the Neck who travels to this tourney. He is attacked by three squires (porcupine, two towers (frey?) and pitchfork). He is taken in by a young wolf (Starks) and then he prays to the gods and a mysterious knight comes and defeats all three of the squires. Jojen keeps on saying "didn't your father ever tell you this story?" which makes me think it was actually a story involving Eddard himself and his generation. Unless this is significant later, please clarify.
CB Note: OMG This is one of my favorites!!! I love Meera's story, so ripe for the nutting.
JN Note: (cue broken record) It goes without saying that... anyway, i am impressed that you managed to determine that PERHAPS this story is important, based on the fact that meera and jojen asked bran 3,506,218 times if Ned had ever told it. I hereby revoke your squirrel privileges, and deem you a chipmunk. All that said, you can try to figure out some more about it now, or just tab it and come back to read more later.
RK Note: AHHHh I want to know the importance! I also guessed it was important and involved Ned from Meera and Jojen assuming he had told Bran the story before, but I need to go back and reread to figure out what's going on there!

Davos beneath Dragonstone is being kept in a hot cell. He isn't being treated too badly. He is being fed and they nursed him through his sickness. He gets a creepy visit from Melisandre who threatens to take away his torch. She talks about a prophecy of her God's prophet or whatever being reborn with a red burning star in smoke and salt and birthing dragons. She thinks this is Stannis b/c Dragonstone is salt and smoke but methinks it's actually Dany...Next few days Stannis's hand (his wife's uncle) is thrown in for trying to write to Tywin to offer a peace. Davos knows that Stannis woudl never have approved this peace and he essentially says he will fight for Stannis regardless of how foolish. Sigh.
CB Notes: Yea, I call shenanigans on Melisandre. She just sees what she wants to see in those flames of hers! Methinks she's a bit kookoo for cocoa puffs.
JN Note: every time cb calls shenanigens it makes me chuckle. however, i would not dare call shenanigens on melisandre. in fact, im making cb sleep on the couch tonite. she might be in the dungeons next, liek davos!
RK Note: She's definitely seeing real things in the flames, but I think she's misinterpreting-- I think it's Dany she sees! These Flames are tough to read but they definitely DO show things!!! This R'Hllor has got me wondering if I should convert to worshipping the Red God....