A Clash of Kings Entry 10 (Character Edition)

So I read slightly too much this weekend to do a chapter-by-chapter blog. As per CB's suggestion, a character-by-character breakdown.

Tyrion: He goes to see Myrcella off to Dorne so she can be married. She acts all the noblewoman and doesn't cry. Then on the way back to the castle, my favorite scene ever, when someone throws some pooooooh at Joffrey and there's almost a riot. Um wtf do you expect when you have giant feasts and your people are starving. This will be the downfall of the Lannisters. They're all into playing this game of thrones (get the reference?) but they forget about their own people. Marx would have something to say about this.
CB Note: That riot was pretty craaaaaaazy. Good thing the Hound was looking out for Sansa, since no one else was!! They left her out there to be killed!
JN Note: who doesnt love to fling poo? stinky poo for a stinky king!!! i echo cb's thoughts on the Hound. good thing he saved our sansamo! also, i didnt get the reference...?
RK Note: That Hound is something else, he really has a sweet spot for Sansa!!! I mean seriously those POOR people living in flea bottom and other parts of Kings Landing, they've been reduced to eating RATS, crime is rampant, people are starving, things are in complete disarray and the King isn't helping them at all... Joffrey deserves so much dung thrown at him!

Jon Snow: After discovering the hidden cache of dragon glass and weapons he makes daggers out of the dragronglass and distributes. This will be important somehow. The other dudes show up finally. Apparently they met some of Mance Rayder's men on the way there and there was a battle. They captured one and were able to question him. Rayder is trying to get some secret power up in the mountains. This is nooooo good.
CB Note: And now, Qhorin wants Jon to come along on their next scouting patrol!!
JN Note: Nut. we have a nut. dragonglass WILL be important!!! Qhorin Halfhand is awesome. he lost part of his hand, and learned to fight with the other one. Also, we could call mm Mike Halfattendance?
RK Note: Who hid that cache of dragonglass?!?!?! omg. Jon is getting to be such a ranger!!

Arya: Excellent excellent excellent scene. Some of Stark's northmen are taken in as hostages by the creepy mummer's men people (whatever they call them). Arya realizes there are more prisoners than Lannisters so if she can free them they can take Harrenhall. She totally "trixxes" Jaqen b/c she gets him to swear he will kill anyone and she names him! To get her to go back Jaqen helps her free the captives. They throw boiling broth over the guards and set them free and they take Harrenhall!!! At the end Roose Bolton (I think?) talks to Arya and like thanks her and she tells him her name is Nymeria and people call her Nan. Ha! (I don't quite get why she doesn't tell them who she is. Couldn't they send word to Robb etc. that she is back). She becomes his cupbearer. Woohoo go Arya!
CB Note: Weasel Soup!!!!!! I think you've, fortunately, missed out on J's taunting of Weasel Soup for weeks before you actually have any clue what he's talking about. Yes, he did that to me. So yea, this was a great chapter! Arya is down to her last kill, after Jaqen kills Weese! So that "trixxy"Jaqen orders some soup and pours it all over the guards! What did you think of his changing his face? And valar morghulis?? Anyway, she can't tell Roose who she is cause she still doesn't know who she can trust!
LB Note: Yes I totally forgot to write about this but I am tottttttttallly freaked out by it! Who sent him?! Lucky for Arya he was there. I always hated how Jaqen spoke in the third person "Man will kill 3 people" so I hope his new personality is better....this valar morghulis thing. What does it mean?!?! I'm very intruiged.
JN Note: not much to add, but def one of hte best scenes of the series so far. Weasel soup!!! arya is so great, and how she tricked jaqen. then this added mystery of jaqen and who he is... love it!!
RK Note: LB stole my color!! SUCH mystery of Jaqen-- but OK tell me if I am reading too much into it here, but didn't it seem like Vargo Hoat's plan was ALWAYS to free the prisoners and that Arya didn't NEED to waste her last kill on this scheme or even do the scheme at all, because that was like the set-up plan all along ANYWAY and Arya just didn't know it? How the prisoners came in acting really wounded and defeated, but ran out of the cells not really wounded at all? And Vargo Hoat was enemies with the guy who was in charge of Harrenhal? And when Arya freed them the prisoners were like expecting it and were like "did Vargo Hoat send you?" It seemed like Vargo was a turncoat all along! And valor morghulis whaaaat!

Bran: Soooooo terrible b/c the greendreams are starting to come true. Bran wakes up to Theon coming into his room. They have tricked everyone and Theon has taken Winterfell! NOOOOOOO. Bran has to give up the castle to them so people don't get hurt. They end up killing Mikken the smith and Hodor is super upset and screaming Hodor HODOR HODOR! :(. Maester whatever managed to get out a bird though. I hope that Robb can send some people to kick Theon's ass and punish him for being a traitor. Ned raised him! And his own dad hates him! If he had helped Robb he would have had plenty of honors and glory. What an ass. Someone needs to teach him a lesson.
CB Note: Damn that Theon!! The greendream has come true! The sea has come over Winterfell's walls!! The Maester is Luwin. Theon is sure messed up. Everyone in his family thinks he's been tainted by the Starks and that he's no longer truly their family. He wants to prove that he is, but he's just acting rashly and not thinking things through! He would have been better off if he just followed through on Robb's request. It's better to be on the King's side than against him.
JN Note: did lb nut what woudl happen fro mthis green dream? i cant remember.
RK Note: RK NUTTED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Catelyn: At Riverun. Brienne ends up pledging her sword to her. Catelyn keeps on getting woken up with word that Lannisters are trying to cross the red fork to get to the castle but the Tully's keep throwing them back. She gets word that her brother has won a big victory. But now the Lannister's are marching south east. Catelyn cannot make herself happy about the victories b/c she can sense something is up.
CB Note: I don't think I have much to say about Catelyn. I remember being pretty bored with her chapters around this time.
JN Note: catelyn on the whole is one of the characters that evokes the strongest and most varied opinions of readers, according to various fan messageboards.
RK Note: LOL so hard to JN's note here. What else happens on A Song of Fire and Ice message boards, pray tell? I am OK on Catelyn, I like her as a character enough, but her chapters haven't been exciting lately.

Davos: Ok, this was by far the creepiest chapter so far in all of the books. Stannis asks him to smuggle the creeeeepy red lady into Storms End b/c Renly's holdout is gonna die. Um, Stannis has turned to some baaaaaaaaaad stuff. Davos smuggles her in (btw, I originally typed "Davos snuggles her in..." Something freudian there). And then she is all creepy and she takes off her cloak and she is pregnant and she gives birth to a shadow thing that like goes inside the castle. We learn later from Tyrion that Dude threw himself off the castle wall. Something is totally not cool here and this red lady needs to go for everyone's sake.
CB Note: Um yeaaaaaaaaa. So Melisandre. isssss kinda creepy. She gave birth to a shadow!!!! WTF! And the shadow looked like Stannis! Just plain gross and weird. And she acts like its just the most normal thing in the world, right?
JN Note: another shadow?!?! does this mean stannis killed renly?!?! for a Lord of Light, this Rh'llor sure traffics in dark arts!!!
RK Note: OK so clearly Melisandre has some magic and voodoo type stuff going on and has control over these shadows that can kill people, and this proves Stannis was behind killing Renly, through the shadow... This is major dark arts for lord of light, I concur with JN! But like IF the Lord of Light and Melisandre have sooooo much power, why aren't they using it more and why aren't they doing better in the war?