A Game of Thrones Entry 7

Sorry for the delay! I didn't get a chance to read too much yesterday but here's what I remember:

I started with Tyrion up in the creepy dungeon in the sky. I would be freaking out!! No wall and the floor slopes...whoever designed that was one sadistic mofo! Tyrion is starting to feel the effects and he has this horrible jailer who throws his food over the side and hits him and stuff. Tyrion bribes the guard to tell Catelyn that he's ready to confess his crimes and then falls asleep.
JN Note: It seems generous of the Prison designer imo. I mean, any time the prisoner wants to leave, he can just exit via the Moon Door. Be honest LB, did you think tyrion was gonna confess???
CB Note: Yes, so generous. That's the word I was looking for. Not...TORTUOUS!
RK Note: OMG HOW FREAKING SCARY, i had nightmares about the sky cells for DAYS, the blue was just calling me, the wind and the cold and the slanted floor and the terribleness, i would be just afraid to sleep and roll off and in tears all the time, i'd never have survived!
JN Note: I'd have thought it would take more than crazy lysa's dungeons to defeat the Kurth of Flowers...

Cut to Bran who is riding for the first time on his "special" saddle. He's so happy! And then they go after the direwolves and Bran is surrounded by himself by these creepy outlaw people, two of whom are deserters from the Night Guard. They try and get him off his saddle when Robb appears with the two wolves and a fight ensues. All is going to be fine and then one of the guys takes Bran hostage and tries to get Robb to kill the two wolves. I was getting really angry at this point--we cannot lose another wolf! And...phew, one of the knights comes and saves them but Bran is on the floor injured. I wonder if they'll let him ride again soon outside the walls. They have to teach him how to defend himself! He should have a gun or something...or one of those life alert things that they have for senior citizens. What's the midieval equivalent? A bugle?
JN Note: Cb loves bran. She thinks he's adorable. The other attackers in addition to the deserters are wildlings. The one who shoots the hostagetaker was none other than Theon. Bran has a giant wolf, i dont think he needs a bugle...
CB Note: What's not to love about Bran? Tho frankly I'm still not over his fall. Being a little cripple boy is beyond sad. Theon Greyjoy is the ward/hostage that has lived with the Starks for almost 10 years. And baby, he means a bugle, not a beagle. If he's in trouble, he needs to toot on a horn to let people know! It's like a rape whistle!
RK Note: Lol x 2238479479 to bugle vs. beagle

Back to Tyrion who is before the full court. He convinces what's her face to give him a trial by combat. Bad move. Tyrion's champino is this sellsword and he's gonna face off against a knight. (I did read the end of this part but I definitely nutted that Tyrion would win...not much of a Nut...more of a Nash-style pecan)
JN Note: I didn't really understand the paranthetical. The true nut would have been not who won the trial by combat, but knowing what tyrion's plan was when he told catelyn and lysa that he would confess, imo.
CB Note: The paranthetical means that LB correctly guessed that Tyrion would win the trial by combat. I'm sure you didnt know what Tyrion's plan was!

Cut to Ned waking up from his 6 day coma. He gets a visit from Robert and the bitch queen Cercei or whatever. They argue about what happens. Stupid Lannisters always lie--they said that Ned was coming back from a brothel drunk and attacked them! What!?!?! We need the midieval equiv. of a lie detector test and someone needs to kill the Kingslayer immediately. Apparently he is in Castle Rock gathering forces to go rescue Tyrion. Ass. Robert ends up smacking Cercei hard at some point. Now I don't condone spousal abuse but hells yeah...and then Robert ends up rehiring Ned as the Hand...I figured this would happen though i did not not it so I won't take credit for that.
JN Note: I'm glad ned woke up! Lol at The Bitch Queen. That was the most obvious lie ever. Ned would never do that. Jaime on the other hand... Kingslayer sucks! He needs a life sentence with no possibility for parole! Casterly Rock*. Uh oh, looks like there's gonna be trouble if he's raising an army to save The Imp. No jury in the world would convict Robert... It's like Chris Rock said, "I'm not saying its ok... but i understaaaaaaand"
RK Note: Lol to Chris Rock quote.

Back to Catelyn who is pissed off. She hears news that the Lannisters are gathering their forces against her father/brother. She wants to return to Witnerfell with her uncle to start gathering forces of her own. She then goes to watch Tyrion's trial. Turns out, as woudl be expected, the young sellsword beats the old knight. Catelyn's sister is pissed and her son doesn't understand why he cant' see Tyrion "fly" off the castle. (Brutal execution!) She ends up setting Tyrion free but to travel on the high road, where he definitely likely to die. I think he's gonna end up going to Winterfell with Catelyn and somehow convince her that he isn't the person who tried to kill Bran. He's dangerous though. He's smart and he seems very loyal to his family even though he recognizes that they're all arrogant assholes. Something bad is gonna happen on the trip back to Winterfell...
JN Note: The sellsword's name is Bronn. Lysa sure newb-ed this trial up! Catelyn too. Robert Arryn (Lysa's son) is funny with all his flying talk. Can totally picture a little kid whining that he wants to see people fly. As to the rest of these attempted nuts... no comment. Keep up the good work, cool stuff coming soon!
CB Note: The Arryns are CRAZY! That's all I've got. Catelyn should never have brought Tyrion there!
RK Note: Lysa is a NUTJOB and the trial by combat with someone else fighting idea was horrible from the get-go, fighting to the death is NEVER a good plan, and trixxy Tyrion always has a plan up his little sleeves!
JN Note: This reminds me of a tv show - Little Sleeves, Big Plans! As for trial by combat with somebody else fighting for you - kinda defeats the point doesnt it?