A Clash of Kings Entry 3

First, a conversation between Jon and Mormont. A very hilarious discussion on how Samwise Gamgee, err Sam, is weird and but at least smart. Then they talk a little about the Maester and Mormont tells Jon that he had actually been offered the throne at some point and turned it down! He comments on how Jon must feel a bit jealous b/c Robb is now King in the North and he is a servant of the Wall. At some point I think we need to figure out who Jon's mother is. Does his mother perchance give him a claim to the throne? Wait, do we already know who his mother is? I seem to remember some dream memory sequence with Ned in the first book but I can't quite recall. JN? Don't give anything away, just let me know if I should know this already.
CB Note: LOL I always think/say Samwise Gamgee also!!! :) Also, under no circumstances is JN allowed to answer you re: Jon's mother!!!!
JN Note: will LB torture himself thinking about what i wanted to write here but cb vetoed??? i bet he will. In other news, i also always think of samwise gamgee when i read about samwell tarly. Apparently, LB, i cannot let you know if you should know anything. Cb has spoken!!!
RK Note: WHO is Samwise Gamgee?!?!?! This whole thing is TOTALLY like How I Met Your Mother.
CB Note: Samwise Gamgee is from Lord of the Rings!

Next back to Arya who is heading up the Kings Road with Yoren. It's an arduous journey. There is all this hinting about wolves and one night Arya goes into the woods to make water (lol) and she is surrounded by some growling wolves. Yoren notes philosophically that the real wolves are the men in wolfskins who burn villages. They are hinting at something to do with Nymeria. I hope Arya gets her wolf back!
CB Note: Oh Arya! (That's all I got)
JN Note: I believe cb made a "make water" reference a blog ago for laffs. oh poor wolf-less Arya! i suppose it could be worth, at least her Lady isn't kaput!
RK Note: Arya and Nymeria are TOTES gonna be reunited soon!! Nymeria is SO the giant she-wolf leading that pack of wolvesies!! And I think that the wolves all left Arya alone when she was making water because they could tell Arya is a Wolf!

Back to Stannis, through the eyes of the Onion Knight (Name). This red lady is pretty crazy and has convinced Stannis to burn all the old gods and do this whole ceremony thing for their new god. Stannis has to walk into the fire and pull out a sword. Funny scene when his glove is lit on fire and he leaves without the sword. All very silly. Next thing you know they'll be asking him to drink some wine and pretend it's a god's blood! Note the parallel to when Jon burns his hand after fighting off the two waits (sp?). Onion goes to an inn where he speaks to this pirate friend of his who he has convinced to come to Stannis's side. He tells the original and creepy story of the "burnt" sword, which involved the hero dude killing his wife. How heroic. Onion is summoned to Stannis who is going to send him with announcements that Joffrey is the product of twincest and he is the true king.
CB Note: The Onion Knight's name is Davos. The crazy red lady is Melisandre. Jon fights the wights. Very interesting parallel! Hadn't thought of that. The pirate friend is Salladhor Saan. Man, if I was Stannis' wife, would I really want him to have the sword that was forged from the guy killing his wife???
JN Note: I am henceforth referring to Davos as Onion. Also cb jsut chopped some Davos'es and now my eyes are watering. Stannis' wife is as religiously cuckoo as Melisandre, she'd prolly like it! tho cb makes a good point, she totes shoulda been like "umm wait a minute...". The original story that Salladhor San tells is super cool imo.
RK Note: This red woman kinda scares me!!! Here's a question-- how did Stannis KNOW the twincest truth? Because I thought that when Ned wrote the letter to Stannis telling him the truth, it was confiscated and never made it out of the Red Keep! So either somehow Ned got out another copy of the letter that we didn't learn about in Thrones, or Stannis has another source to this information!!

Unfortunately I had to stop reading at this time!
JN Note: awww, poop. i was just gettin rollin'!!!