A Storm of Swords Entry 5

Sorry I missed yesterday! I did not have a chance to Blog :'(. So tons of stuff for today. I'll do by Character, cause it's easier.

Jon: Two chapters. In the first one, they're camped out by these caves right near the Wall preparing to go over on a mission. Jon "forces" himself to sleep with Ygritte to prove to them all that he isn't a spy. Shocker but he enjoys it and half the chapter is Jon and Ygritte going at it like Rabbits. Sad scene at some point where Jon goes to Ghost and tells him he cannot take him with because they are going to climb the wall and that he has to go to the Shadow Tower. I hope Ghost understands!!! Can't he just like strap Ghost to his back and climb!? Don't leave Ghost behind!!! A Stark (or Snow?) should not be without his direwolf!!!! Then more more Jon/Ygritte quality time in the cave. Ygritte is all experienced and telling Jon how he knows nothing and then Jon goes down on her...and she's all like silent and "No one has ever..." I have to be honest I find it awkward to read these parts on the subway. It was like when I read American Psycho on the subway. I kept on like looking around and seeing if people were looking at me...
CB Note: And here I thought they were going at it like direwolves. *Zing! Soooooooooo sad that Jon had to send Ghost away!!! I hate when any character is without his or her wolf. Lol to the porny chapter during your subway trip. Btw, nowadays I frequently say the phrase: "You know nothing, Justin Nash."
JN Note: while i see how reading these chapters on the subway can be awkward, i, like GRRM, fail to see how it cna be ok for charactesr to have their faces melted, but not ok for a lil lovin'! great zinger babe! and, its true, i know nothing, and she tells me all the time!!! as for Jon and Ygritte, she's a redhead, and hte carpet matches the curtains, so who can blame him!
RK Note: LOL to "You know nothing, Justin Nash." A Stark should never be without his direwolf, BAD THINGS happen anytime a Stark is without their direwolf, Arya would be in WAYYY better shape if she'd been with Nymeria all this time.

Dany: Really cool chapter here. She goes to purchase all the Unsullied even the ones who aren't' trained yet. The slave traders are hesitant to give her the untrained one but then....she sells them one of the dragons (Drogo) for all of them. I honestly at this point was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So they give her that slave girl who translates as part of the bargain and funny moment when the slave girl realizes that Dany actually could understand Valyrian (sp?) We also learn that "valar morghulis" means "all men must die." Sooooo appropriate for Arya's prayers!!! So then Dany goes to make the exchange. She sort of half hands over the reins to Drogo who won't go to the slaver guy and she makes the guy say out loud that the Unsullied are hers. Then....all hell breaks loose. Dany tells the Unsullied to attack the traders and she gets Drogo to burn off the trader guys face! Such a gross image here of the guy's eyes melting! This was definitely foreshadowed when Dany asked Jorah why the Dothraki hadn't ever taken the city. Second bell on Dany's braid!!!
CB Note: As J would say, Dany totally pwnzed the shit out of those guys. I had the same reaction about Drogo! She can't sell him! She just cant!!! I loved when Missendei realizes she's talking to Dany in Valyrian and just goes "Oh" haha. Also so cool that she quizzes her on the Unsullied and finds out that if she were to ever sell them, they would have no problem attacking her, should their next leader order them to. Great foreshadowing for the later events of the chapter! I thought it was great and exciting and I totally didn't see it coming. She melted face - literally!
JN Note: one of hte best chapters in book. awesome suspense, action, and Dany badassness. cb totally thought she was gonna sell drogon. so did zero. i, on the other hand, knew better. loved her trixxyness with the languages, and the part where Missandei is like "oh" and dany is like "your name is oh?". the foreshadowing was great as cb said, dany askign the important questions for her own plans. another great part was when she was talkign ot hte troops after she took the whip, in high valyrian, there was like a one liner about one of the slavers, like "so and so turned around all of a sudde nand raelized she was speaking high valyrian" and its like you know hes realizing "oh f we are fuxxed." as for the importance of face melting, the verb "to melt face" is a common verb used in online gaming to denote slaughtering your opponent.
RK Note: DrogoN. Drogo was her husband, the dragon is DrogoN. Anyway I actually DID see this coming-- I KNEW that she would never really give up a dragon and I nutted that she would buy the slaves and then turn the slave army against the slavers and take Drogon back, AND I guessed she would free the slaves because she was so tormented about the slavery aspect, BUT I did not nut that she'd go on a crusade to flee every slave in the world. Who is zero, again? I totally knew she'd never sell Drogon. Dany is crafty enough to always find a way!!!

Sansa: Sigh. She goes to try on her new dress with Cersei there. You gotta know something is up. And as they are done Cersei gives her a maiden cloak to where and Sansa realizes what is going on. They are taking her to marry Tyrion. NOOOOoooo. I suppose as far as Lannisters it could be worse. He is really gross looking but he has been a better person than the others. Sansa ends up going because fighting is not worth it. Joffrey gives her away as King in her father's place. Jack ass. He makes some comment about how he can still have her whenever he wants. I don't think Tyrion would allow this. She should go with Joff and like kill him or something. They have a sad looking wedding feast and then they go up to consummate the marriage. Sansa is like physically revolted by the sight of naked Tyrion. But *shock* Tyrion is the only one in this entire series who will not sleep with a 12 year old! He says they will wait.
CB Note: Poor Sansa. And Poor Tyrion! I was surprised that Tyrion went through with it all, cause he didnt wan't to either really! But I guess he wants to make daddy happy. He's hoping for the best with Sansa since he has been nice to her in the past, but it's hard to Sansa to really equate the fact that he actually ISN'T as bad as the others. All she knows is that she's being forced to marry a hideous Lannister! Was sad when she refused to kneel down so Tyrion could reach her to put the cloak on her. That wasn't nice of her. Joff is a total JACKASS. I hate him!! At least Tyrion spared her from the Bedding process!
JN Note: great note on tyrion being hte only one not to sleep with 12 year olds. im sure this really raises him in lb's and rk's eyes lol. the rest is mostly covered, but its kinda sad sansa hates tyrion so much. he protected her a litlte from joff, but he just cant win. and sansa still aint that smart.
RK Note: INTERESTINGLY, I think Sansa should have slept with Tyrion-- he was being so kind to her and gentle, she should have volunteered and been a little more willing. Now at least Tyrion will PROTECT her from Joffrey, who is the biggest douche ever. We know Tyrion's manhood is fine! It's like Sansa has somehow managed to stay so innocent and vulnerable throughout all this war and terribleness and cruelty, sheltered in the Red Keep while the wars rage, whereas her younger siblings have ALL had to really grow up and become adults, even the little ones like Bran and Arya, who have been on the run and hunted and really faced with war and cruelty and murder, and the worst Sansa has suffered is some cruelty from Joff and of course the loss of Ned and she thinks Bran and Rickon, but ALL the Starks have had to deal with that. I mean all she had to do was marry Tyrion Lannister. She's warm and fed and has a bed to sleep in every single night and fine gowns and silks to wear and no one is raping her or hunting her, and she really has it better off than any of her siblings. Robb is off waging war and battling, Jon is off Beyond the Wall in the freezing cold and the Frostfangs and there's wights and Others and wildlings and who knows what to contend with, Arya is constantly running and being hunted and hungry and dirty and starving and eating worms and witnessing torture and murdering people and dealing with things that an 8/9 year old just should not be and she doesn't even have her wolf with her, and Bran and Rickon saw their home destroyed and are on the run and supposed to be thought dead and then they have to split up so they're not even TOGETHER and Bran is a cripple and can't walk and they have to run and hide constantly and have nowhere to really go that's safe and are trying to go BEYOND the wall.... and pampered little Sansa stark is safe and warm and has a nice bed to sleep in every night, and now she's got a husband to protect her from douchebag Joffrey and some Tyrells to befriend and sew with and the Godswood, and yet she's so miserable and frigid, and she doesn't even know how good she has it! I mean granted Cersei is evil and she's not exactly safe there and is mostly a hostage, but once she's married to Tyrion she could at least be NICER to him and unmask her courtesy and ALLOW herself to find a FRIEND in him and trust someone and develop a bond, and seriously she should just sleep with him, he's her HUSBAND. Dany was her age when she was sold to Khal Drogo and slept with him and came to love him. Sansa is not half the woman Dany is!!!!

Tyrion: Good transition because everyone knows that Tyrion has not consummated the marriage. He is embarrassed but upset that Sansa is still so depressed. Tyrion goes to scope out the damage from the battle as he is now master of coin so he has to fix everything. He then goes secretly to meet with the singer who Shae likes. The dude actually threatens him to tell people about Tyrion and Shae unless Tyrion gets him into the singing contest at Joffrey's wedding. Tyrion says he will but then goes back to Bronn and tells him to kill him. Tyrion is called to his fathers who has a sword of Valyrian steel made for Joffrey and one for Jaime (and none for Tyrion. what a Jackass!!!) He wants to know why Tyrion hasn't consummated the marriage. Tyrion won't talk to him about it. We learn that the Tyrell's have turned down the offer to marry Cersei to the cripple dude. ha! They won't tell her this. Then they have a discussion about how difficult it will be to pay for both the wedding in all its extravagance and the rebuilding of the city.
CB Note: Nothing much to say about this, except I remember HATING Tywin in this chapter. Why does he always have to be so mean to Tyrion?!?
JN Note: the realm needs moneys! they need dwarves' pennies!!!
RK Note: Tywin is the BIGGEST dick and everyone is so mean to poor Tyrion!!! It's tough being master of the coin. I thought it was clever how Tyrion disposed of this singer!!!

Arya: They go to this city where they see these people in cages who are being punished. Arya thinks they may be Stark people so she gives some of them water, which pisses off the townsfolk. The town is run by the Huntsman who is not there at the time. The Huntsman hates the Lannisters. They go to stay at this brothel. Awkward moment between Arya and Gendry when a prostitute tries to pick Gendry up and then Arya is like "I know what a brothel is!" and Gendry blushes. The chapter ends with the Huntsman arriving with a Lannister. People think it may be Jaime but it is someone else who Arya recognizes (presumably from her prayers.)
CB Note: Arya is totally her father's daughter, giving the captives water is a very noble thing to do! Ha, reading the recap of this chapter reminds me of a part you sort of left out. The prostitute that tries to pick up Gendry was talking about how she might be Robert's daughter, since he used to frequent the brothel. Then she tries to get with Gendry, who might be her half-brother!! Good thing he didn't want to!
JN Note: i cant believe we did not get ANY nut attempt at who it is from lb. poor form lb, poor form!!! you cant win what you dont bet! as for that brothel, is it the one where all the girls got their bells rung?
RK Note: Is anyone else rooting for Arya and Gendry to hook up in a few years when Arya is older? I totally nutted it would be the Hound!!! I ALSO thought of that Caryn, about how Gendry and the prostitute could have been half brother and sister!!! Not that the Targaryens and Cersei/Jaime don't do the whole brother/sister incest thing, but ew!! And also when you're a bastard is sure is TOUGH to make sure you don't sleep with a relative!!!

Jaime: The bloody mummers have cut off Jaime's right hand. The plan is I guess to send him part by part to the Lannisters until they pay. It's his sword hand and he is pissed and it is painful. Another chivalrous Jaime part when he saves Brienne from being raped by calling out Sapphires and this reminds Vargo (?) that she is worth money so he stops them from raping her for the "sapphireth." They also like hit him on his stump and he passes out. They get to Harrenhall and Brienne is shocked to hear that the Karstarks are no longer allied with the Starks. But Roose apparently doesn't like the way they are being treated so he gets Jaime treatment and releases Brienne.
CB Note: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO JAIME LOST HIS HAND!!!!!!! Wasn't that the worst? I felt so bad for him. Those stupid bloody mummers!!!!!
JN Note: the mummers were cutting off jaime's hand to end last chapter, and lb TOTALLY failed to mention it in that blog lol. as for feeling bad for jaime, i assure you, cb did nto feel bad at all when it happened. i remember her being kind of thrilled. as for lb, i believe this is a "hope" come true, only jaime has lost his hand, and not his you know whatsits, as per a recent blog.
CB Note: Excuse you! I was NOT thrilled about Jaime's hand. I may not have been his biggest fan, but I do not support decapitation in any way!!
RK Note: I was also sad for Jaime when he lost his hand! I'd cheer if Cersei or Tywin lost a hand though. I am glad you do not support decapitation Caryn, but I think what Jaime suffered would be called demanication, which I also do not support... Poor Ned was the one who suffered decapitation, which I concur that I am also against. It's amazing how many times Jaime has saved Brienne from being raped!!!

LOST April 15

1:00 - little Miles is one freaky kid. i dun see why they didnt get haley joel osmont to play him.
RK Note: That would be a good idea!

2:00 - cb is the greatest gf ever. she let me wow with zero tonite!!! /hug
CB Note: I AM the greatest gf ever...and don't you forget it!!
RK Note: Lol, Caryn, you're such an enabler!
CB Note: Well the hidden truth is that I don't get much of a choice as to if he actually plays or not. But I'm the "greatest gf ever" if I don't complain about it.

3:00 - lol at the Circle of Trust. sounds naughty.
CB Note: I feel like I've heard this before....thanks to google, I figured it out: Meet the Parents!

Jack: But the fact is, Greg, with the knowledge you've been given, you are now on the inside of what I like to call... "the Byrnes family circle of trust." I keep nothing from you, you keep nothing from me... and round and round we go.

RK Note: Wonder if the Lost writers made this connection!

4:00 - "welcome to the circle of trust." indeed! lol at miles to rusedski: "he sent me instead. im in the circle of trust."

5:00 - "the ditch had a gun". i like this miles! we need more of him.
CB Note: Me too! I'm so glad we're getting a Miles-centric episode.

6:00 - great idea by miles to figure out what really happened to the guy who got shot in the head by the ditch! sadly, i didnt nut that :(
CB Note: Miles talking to dead people isn't a nut anyway...but you still should be ashamed you didn't realize he'd do it...
RK Note: Major shame points for Justin not realizing Miles could talk to the dead guy! So, he talked to the dead guy, and his filling came out of his mouth and went through his head and killed him. SO CLEARLY MAGNETIC FORCES FROM SOMEWHERE ON THE ISLAND killed him! Aka the magnetism yanked out his filling with so much force it went up into his brain and killed him!!!! We know the island is full of mysterious crazy magnetic fields, sucks for people with iron fillings! Too bad back in the day they didn't have those pretty porcelain fillings you can get nowadays. I digress...
CB Note: Yes! I had forgotten about this while noting, but thought it was pretty cool during the show. That crazy island magnetism!!

7:00 - teenage miles totally looks like he plays world of warcraft...
CB Note: I don't think so. He's not a nerd, he's punk!

8:00 - mom wont talk to miles about his father! it must be dr hanso!!! and hes dead! howd he die?!
CB Note: Dr. Chang. Hanso was behind the Hanso Foundation who financed DHARMA. Btw, did anyone else notice that when Miles mom was presumably dying, besides the loss of hair, she looked pretty good, like pretty young and non-wrinkly?
RK Note: Yay! Caryn nutted this like 88 years ago btw! I tried to nut it on the March 18th Lost blog, but actually Caryn pre-nutted me about this on February 4th! Go Caryn.

9:00 - horace is sending the dead body to the orchid!!! to dr chang! is dr chang dr hanso? whose the guy who is always on the dharma tapes that locke watches. thats the guy im talkin about.
CB Note: See above. Chang was on all the DHARMA tapes, using pseudonyms Dr. Marvin Candle, Dr. Mark Wickmund and Dr. Edgar Halliwax.

10:00 - what's hurley writing in that notebook! something important, or funny?

11:00 - i dont think hurley talks to dead people the way miles does.
CB Note: I don't think so either babe! Hurley just talks to specific dead people, like Charlie! :)

12:00 - i think miles is just making this stuff up with this guy who is paying him in the past, bc miles needs the body i thought, or the place where it happened.
CB Note: I hope you don't think that obvious observation can be counted as a nut!

13:00 - hey, its naomi! shes about to recruit miles to send him to the island!
CB Note: Also not a nut considering we know that she does this :)

14:00 - im so over roger acting emo over ben. roger was the meantest dad ever!
CB Note: Ugh, seriously. Roger is the WORST. I can't stand scenes with him. He's SO EMO. It's like I'm watching J and someone shot his video game and then stole it and he can't find it anymore.
RK Note: lol

15:00 - lol at kate's feeling. good one kate. great nut.
CB Note: I don't see why Roger had to get all weird about it. That's just the sort of thing people say in a tough situation. "I'm sure he'll be fine!"
RK Note: Honestly! Kate was just like being a normal compassionate person and Roger got all unnecessarily suspicious over it!

16:00 - hurley and miles once again have the best dialogue.
RK Note: I LOVE Chef Hurley and his enthusiasm and the seriousness with which he takes his chef role. I still want to know what kind of dipping sauces best bring out the ham.

17:00 - omg hurley you are the DUMBEST!!! L2keepyourmouthshut.
CB Note: Lol. "I won't tell anyone about the body in the back!"

18:00 - hydra island! thats the name of the other little islands. and the doc didnt seem to think the experiments over there were very useful (going on about weighing turds and all)
RK Note: That's where the plane crash landed in the future, and that's where the cages are where Sawyer and Kate were held! And I guess that's where they have polar bears they're experimenting with and possibly sending through time to Tunisia and apparently weighing their turds has something to do with the study!
CB Note: True, we knew that those cages where they kept Kate and Sawyer were where they had kept the polar bears! Remember when Sawyer had to figure out the correct sequence to push certain big buttons in the cage to get food? And then Tom commented about how it only took the polar bears 2 hours to figure it out. lol.

19:00 - and lol hurley called him a douche.

20:00 - and quadruple omg bc that douche is miles' dad!!!!! soudns like a nut for somebody from weeks ago. was it cb? kurth of flowers? or did you two read it on other websites?
CB Note: I hope you're not surprised about this development babe! I wish I could take credit, but I actually accidentally read it on Eonline (as a possible thought/guess, not a confirmed spoiler) but as soon as I read it I thought it was brilliant and I believe I shared it with all of you :)
RK Note: AWWWW I really thought Caryn nutted it as an original CB nut (see above!) I tried to originally nut it on March 18th but I probably already had the idea in my head from Caryn's February 4th blog so I don't think it counts. Either way I was super confident this was the case and was not surprised to see it confirmed.
CB Note: Unlike J, I don't take full credit for nuts that aren't my own! ;)

21:00 - all i know is that i nutted it myself earlier this episode. so gg no re!
CB Note: Um no. We knew this already. Shut it.
RK Nut: Omg no WAY justin, you already clearly had read it in the February 4th and March 18th blogs from me and Caryn!

22:00 - who is naomi having miles check?! a delivery to widmore?! whoa, its a dude who apparently discovered that widmore and/or ben lied about the flight 815 plane crash and got killed for it.
RK Note: Digging up empty graves and buying old airplanes, CREEPINESS!!!!!

23:00 - "3rd day we were here i was in line in the cafeteria and my mother got in line behind me." - one liner of the season, hands down.
CB Note: That was super lol. Awesome.
RK Note: SO AWESOME. Also Miles might want to have spent the past 3 years at least cherishing time with his mom who it seems like might be dead in the future and getting to know daddy and seeing how his parents were when they were first married since he never knew his dad, how is that not FASCINATING to him??!!?!!
CB Note: Agreed! Can't believe he spent 3 years not really interacting with them.

24:00 - im enjoying how bens dad is a total dbag, now to jack, kicking mopwater like a real tuff guy.

25:00 - lol hurley trying ot be all mr smooth with the doc and miles.

26:00 - a fake fense into a "worksite". what is it forrrrrrr? the swan? i bet its for the swan aka the hatch.

27:00 - NUTTED IT.
RK Note: A good nut!! Credit given.

28:00 - and they threw in the numbers for good measure.
RK Note: At least they haven't forgotten the numbers, I can't wait to learn how this is explained!!!!

29:00 - cb has nutted that this mysterious guy in the van was working with the bounty hunter who apprehended sayid, bc last week he asked on the island about the shadow of the statue. well done babe. i ahd noe idea who this duder was.
RK Note: So who ARE these people? They're clearly anti-Widmore, but I can't decide if they're with Ben or if they're a whole separate thing? Are they like related to ancient secrets going way back when to when the statute was on the island? (which it my head is like thousands of years ago even though we have no evidence to clearly tell us what timeframe it was for real). What DOES lie in the shadow of the statue? And who are these peeps?!?!?! Are they with Eloise? With Ben? With themselves?

30:00 - btw, this guy is working against widmore it seems (he doesnt want miels to go help widmore). but, he must not be working for ben, bc he woulda known who ben was on the flight and when it crashed. so, who is he working for?!?!?!?!?!??!?! although, he did help get sayid on the plane, and ben wanted that. so maybe he is working for ben, but just doesnt know who ben himself is. very tricky.
CB Note: THIS IS CRAZY!!! So, this guy and Ilana and whoever else, were on the plane and also knew it would go to the island!!! It's a war!!! Widmore vs Ben? Who else would it be? Is there a 3rd party???
RK Note: See my wondering above, I have no idea!!!

31:00 - CHEWBACCA!!!!!
RK Note: I laughed SO SO SO hard at Hurley writing the Empire Strikes Back to send to George Lucas and the whole star wars substory, Hurley is HILARIOUS

32:00 - i bet this "development" is about the security tape that got left out.

33:00 - NUT.

34:00 - things are spinnin' out of control for lafleur!

35:00 - "and we got the ewoks". great hurley monologue on star wars and the perils of not making up with your parents, lest you end up like luke and darth vader. im just impressed they didnt make any disaparaging comments about eps 1-3.
CB Note: Would have been funny though if they mentioned how they didn't know what happened in ep 3, since it came out post-crash! :) Though I'm all for ignoring those 3 movies and pretending they never happened.
RK Note: I liked episodes 2 and 3, but not 1! I love Nabu and think it's the most beautiful planet in the whole galaxy. Also why did Hurley say the ewoks suck? I love the ewoks!!!! Dave has the Ewok Treehouse.

36:00 - scientists from ann arbor?! who are they? what are they here for? i got nuttin... i mean, nothin'.
RK Note: SO I was nutting that Chang was going to walk down to the sub to get the scientists and the scientists were going to like force Chang into a submarine and force him off the island and that would LEAD Miles' mom to think he left in the middle of the night without a word when Miles was a baby but REALLY it was totally against Chang's will and the whole thing is super tragic, because Chang was SUCH A CUTE DAD reading to baby Miles and omg Miles was the cutest little baby I just wanted to eat him up and put him in a onesie and snuggle him forever and ever. Anyway I am still holding out future nuttability that this will happen at the beginning of the next ep or in a future ep!
CB Note: LOL at your comments. I totally agree tho. And I am sure there is more to Chang leaving them then what Miles assumes (him just being a douche). He was super cute with baby Miles. Something fishy is definitely going to happen to him.

37:00 - that totes soudned like... FARADAY IN THE HIZZOUSE!!!! how did faraday get off the island?!?!?! glad to have him back. hes the bestest.
CB Note: Um...did the blog just END and you have it as 37:00?? Could you try any less with this blog??? Seriously!!!!
RK Note: So I guess Faraday either never left 1977 but just went back to America to Ann Arbor for a bit, OR he time traveled and got BACK to 1977 and is now back? I am guessing he never left 1977 but just left the Island. As to how Faraday got off the island, I'm gonna guess he took the same submarine he returned on!
CB Note: Agreed.

A Storm of Swords Entry 4

More bad news from Riverrun. The Karstarks are realllllly pissed at Robb for not punishing Catelyn for letting the Kingslayer free. He killed Lord ???s two sons. Robb is faced with the bodies of a Lannister and and a Frey who were taken captive at that battle where they took Jaime. The Karstarks broke into the prison and killed them (unarmed) for revenge. Robb notes at some point how silly this is b/c they didn't kill the sons but Lord ??? Karstark is so pissed he doesn't care. Robb ends up executing him as a traitor. Losing the Karstarks is nooooo good. Also we learn that Lord ??? Karstark promised his daughter and title to anyone who brings Kingslayer's head so now there is gonna be a tonnnn of people hunting Brienne.
CB Note: Lord ??? is Rickard Karstark. He was super pissed about the whole Jaime thing, since he had killed his sons. Also, don't Catelyn and Jeyne have an awkward convo at the end of this chapter?
JN Note: what's this about an awkward conversation? as for hte Karstarks, this is totes a bummer for Robb. being King in the North is hard, yo!
RK Note: Is this where Jeyne wants to know how to comfort Robb and wants advice from his lady mother? Or a different awkward convo? They discuss making a baby?

Speaking of, next is a Jaime chapter. He has some thoughts about how he will send Sansa back if only to defy everyone's expectations and this would amuse him. They stop in a village and are chased by some archers. Oddly sexual scene where Jaime and Brienne do this whole swordfight thing, which ends in Brienne winning and trying to get Jaime to yield (and him pissed that he lost). And then....NOOooo they are caught by the Bloody Mummers. Jaime thinks this is great at first b/c they are (were) his dad's men. Then he finds out they sold out Harrenhal to the Starks. So they take him captive with Brienne to ransom Jaime. They threaten to rape Brienne and Jaime somewhat gallantly tells them that she is highborn and worth a lot of money. Someone's gonna have to be super trixxy to get them out of this situation!
CB Note: Damn those bloody mummers!!!! Stupid Brienne and Jaime should have been on their way instead of wasting so much time fighting and making so much noise! Jaime was gallant when he protected Brienne - is there a softer side of the Kingslayer? Also, I think you left out a liiiiiittle important bit of info that happens at the end of this chapter...
JN Note: i enjoyed the fight between jaime and Brienne, but i dotn remember it being sexual, which is surprising, knowing me and all. as for the Bloody Mummer and that evil Vargo Hoat, ohnoes brienne! cb, stop trying to make lb like jaime, he's evil. i hoep he gets what's coming to him, or that he gets dealt a bad hand, if you know what i mean...
RK Note: The capture by the Brave Companions is really all Jaime's fault for trying to run off on Brienne and them wasting time loudly fighting!! But Jaime does show his soft side when he tries to make them think there are sapphires on Tarth. And yeah way to not mention Jaime getting his HAND CHOPPED OFF!!! Damn that Vargo Hoat... Lol to Jaime getting dealt a bad hand. I kind of like Jaime!!! He shows a much softer side!!

Next to Arya. They are riding about trying to find Beric and Thoros who apparently operate much like a modern terrorist organization by having small cells who dont' know where the leader is....They see a bunch of people including the Lady of the Leaves who reminds me of the elves in LOTR cause they live in trees. They stop at this high hill place that was sacred to the children of the forest and Arya wakes up to a storm and heres this old creepy woman talking to Lem about her dream. It's something about a burning heart butchering a Stag and a drowned crow. Stag is Baratheon. Burning heart? Drowned crow? I hope the drowned crow isn't Bran or Jon. They then go to this one lord's house and when the lady realizes Arya is highborn she makes her like bath and dress all pretty and Arya is pissed. I lol'd here. She tells them where to find Beric. Hilarious scene where Gendry and Arya have this awkwardly sexual fight scene rolling around in the mud.
CB Note: Haha I lovvvved when that woman tried to make Arya bathe and wear a dress. So funny!! Then she messes it up when fighting with Gendry and she has to do it all over again. Oh Arya! Nice parallel with the terrorist org. lol. I think J will tell you that you should always pay extra attention to anyone's dreams! Especially old women in the forest, cause if anyone would have a prophecy, I think it'd be them.
JN Note: its true, cb loves when arya is being tomboyish. as for the Ghost of High Heart and her dreams (i wonder what color they are), i would say, "it goes without saying," except that based on your recounting of last book's House of the Undying chapter, and of this chapter, it obviously doesnt go without saying, so: The astute squirrel reads dreams by creepy old women who live in trees full of nuts closely. Because what's written in thei blog.... its totes a mess!
RK Note: LOL to terrorist cell analogy and LOTR. Maybe I need to go back and re-read the House of the Undying chapter.... all these dreams are so cryptic!

To Dany who is trying to buy some Unsullied. Funny scene with her and the slave trader who thinks she doesn't understand Valyrian and is speaking through a translator. He keeps lying and saying like "Tell the stupid whore that..." Very good bargaining technique on Dany's part. She is super upset by the way the Unsullied are trained. They are eunuchs and are given some drug to not feel pain. They have all these terrible rituals like being forced to kill a newborn baby. They are given a puppy for a year and then they have to strangle it! Horrible. Dany is pissed at Jorah for kissing her and taking her to this place and she basically yells at him but then says she is gonna buy the Unsullied b/c she needs an army.
CB Note: Haha, I loved when Dany pretended not to understand what they were saying! The Unsullied training is definitely scary sounding. But I suppose it does make for a good army.
JN Note: great chapter, fo sho. Love that dany! terrific bargaining and negotiating tactic. i wonder if high priced lawyers like lb do that.
RK Note: The Unsulled Training is SO SAD. Killing puppies and infants? HORRIBLE!!!! Love Dany though!!!

To Bran who is walking up with Jojen Meera and Hodor ("Hodor!") They stay one night in a cave with some dude who gives them food and complains about how things were better with the Starks. They are walking and Meera starts telling them a story about this person from the Neck who travels to this tourney. He is attacked by three squires (porcupine, two towers (frey?) and pitchfork). He is taken in by a young wolf (Starks) and then he prays to the gods and a mysterious knight comes and defeats all three of the squires. Jojen keeps on saying "didn't your father ever tell you this story?" which makes me think it was actually a story involving Eddard himself and his generation. Unless this is significant later, please clarify.
CB Note: OMG This is one of my favorites!!! I love Meera's story, so ripe for the nutting.
JN Note: (cue broken record) It goes without saying that... anyway, i am impressed that you managed to determine that PERHAPS this story is important, based on the fact that meera and jojen asked bran 3,506,218 times if Ned had ever told it. I hereby revoke your squirrel privileges, and deem you a chipmunk. All that said, you can try to figure out some more about it now, or just tab it and come back to read more later.
RK Note: AHHHh I want to know the importance! I also guessed it was important and involved Ned from Meera and Jojen assuming he had told Bran the story before, but I need to go back and reread to figure out what's going on there!

Davos beneath Dragonstone is being kept in a hot cell. He isn't being treated too badly. He is being fed and they nursed him through his sickness. He gets a creepy visit from Melisandre who threatens to take away his torch. She talks about a prophecy of her God's prophet or whatever being reborn with a red burning star in smoke and salt and birthing dragons. She thinks this is Stannis b/c Dragonstone is salt and smoke but methinks it's actually Dany...Next few days Stannis's hand (his wife's uncle) is thrown in for trying to write to Tywin to offer a peace. Davos knows that Stannis woudl never have approved this peace and he essentially says he will fight for Stannis regardless of how foolish. Sigh.
CB Notes: Yea, I call shenanigans on Melisandre. She just sees what she wants to see in those flames of hers! Methinks she's a bit kookoo for cocoa puffs.
JN Note: every time cb calls shenanigens it makes me chuckle. however, i would not dare call shenanigens on melisandre. in fact, im making cb sleep on the couch tonite. she might be in the dungeons next, liek davos!
RK Note: She's definitely seeing real things in the flames, but I think she's misinterpreting-- I think it's Dany she sees! These Flames are tough to read but they definitely DO show things!!! This R'Hllor has got me wondering if I should convert to worshipping the Red God....

A Storm of Swords Entry 3

Sadly I only read two chapters because of the New Jersey bar CLE crap. Sigh.
CB Note: Just another reason to hate NJ!!!!!!
JN Note: can you guys make sure i dont forget to do my CLE and get disbarred?

Samwise Gamgee, errr, Sam is running away from the fist. He recounts what has happened. Basically, they were attacked by wights on the fist, hundreds and hundreds of them. Sam had been told by Mormont that if they were attacked he was to immediately go and send off ravens with word. He goes to do so but apparently has forgotten to give the ravens the messages. Oh Sam. At some point Sam collapses and falls over and that simple giant dude carries him. Dude is so dumb. He keeps on saying that he wants Sam to give him a raven. When they finally stop, Sam, simple dude, and Grenn (?), they have lost the rest of the party and all of a sudden are attacked by one of the Others. Now i'm confused here because I dont' know what the difference is between wights and the others. Apparently they are different. Don't clarify if this will be sorted out later. Sam stands aside but then charges and stabs one of the Others with the dragonglass and the other dude dies. Apparently dragonglass is Other-cryptonite. Go Sam!!! You ain't no craven!!!!
CB Note: I loved this chapter. Even how it was written. I don't remember the exact line, but it kept repeating something like "Sam takes another step." I don't know, I liked it haha. Small Paul is the simple dude who carries Sam. Hmm, Others versus Wights. I'm kind of unsure about this as well. I'm about to paste their descriptions from the super site we use...so if you don't want to read, skip ahead! Wights are an undead creature with black hands and burning bright blue eyes. That's like the guy who attacked Mormont back at the wall and Jon fought and killed and caused his hand to be injured. Others are a strange race of creatures that live in the Far North. They are tall and gaunt, with pale flesh and deep blue eyes. I guess this means that they are different things. Right? Right?? lol.
JN Note: see my email re the distinction between Others and wights. as for Sam, thank rh'llor he slayed that Other!!!
RK Note: Small Paul!! Sam isn't such a craven after all!!! AWESOME to finally figure out the use for Dragonglass! Seems we could use quite a lot of that right about now!!! I think it was like "Just one more step. One foot in front of the other. Just one more step..." and then he kept taking more steps to keep going. Now I tried to sort out others vs. wights in my A Storm of Swords Entry 1 notes earlier, and my impression was DIFFERENT from the one Caryn just shared! So I guess I was wrong!! Can someone forward me this e-mail from Justin on the distinction between Others and Wights? Thanks!!!

To Tyrion meeting with the counsel. Lotsa revelations, but here are the conclusions:

1- Lannisters have caught wind of the plan to have Sansa marry cripple-Tyrell. Tywin is not amused by this and....he wants Cersei to marry him. Cersei is much less than amused. Tyrion finds this highly amusing but wonders what Jaime will do when he finds out. Silly Tywin, Cersei only sleeps with relatives...
CB Note: Hahahhaahahaha. She's a ho.
JN Note: great comeuppance. she totes deserves the cripple. maybe itll do her good!
RK Note: Cersei is a damn slut, I hope they marry her off to someone terrible and more powerful than her.

2- Littlefinger is to go to the Eyrie to try and seduce whatsherface, Catelyn's sister. If he can marry her and bring her as a Lannister ally this will be a big blow to the Starks. This was obviously Littlefinger's goal all along. He was slighted by the Starks because they wouldn't let him marry Catelyn. He wasn't highborn enough. But now that he has Harrenhal he can. This would be a huuuuuuuuge personal victory for him. I hope it doesn't work out!!!
CB Note: That would be......CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY LYSAAAAAAAAAA.
JN Note: sometimes cb and i just say "craaaaazy lysaaaa" to eachother at random times and start laughing. oh lysa, you so crazy girl! as for Littlefinger, great job by him, he sure is good at this game of throneses!
RK Note: Lol!!! It's a tough journey up to the Eyrie, I keep wondering whether we're going to see it again soon, and whether that goat bastard girl will become important like I thought from book 1!!!!

3- The worst thing ever EVER EVER. Tywin wants Tyrion to marry Sansa. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. First of all, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Second of all, this is just horrible for Sansa. I hope what's his face fool-night can forgive her and get her out before she has to marry the imp!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWW. Tywin tells everyone about Robb's marriage and if Tyrion does marry Sansa he can lay claim to Winterfell. As I mentioned to CB, I audibly gasped as I read this on the subway.
CB Note: Everyone in unison, let's throw out books at Justin!!! That's what I do when I'm unhappy with an event in the book.
JN Note: this was absolutely one of those "im gonna stop reading moments" for cb, and i had to insist she keep going, while at the same time i obvi couldnt tell her nuttin about about sansa and tyrion's future of wedded bliss. Sansa needs to get out of Kings Landing asap. its like i said, she cant seem to escape these lannisters! (great nut by me).
RK Note: I can't believe you want to STOP reading when the twists in the book happen, that's what rivets me so I can't stop reading at all! Anyway I think Sansa could do worse! Tyrion is a decent guy, he's witty and gentle and clever and he means well, and Shae seems to like him well and good. He's a better catch than cruel Joffrey! Sansa should be nicer to Tyrion!!

A Storm of Swords Entry 2

Start with Bran in the forest with Jojen etc. He is in the midst of a wolf dream and is climbing and jumping and such. Poor guy will never be able to do that! When he wakes him up Jojen is all concerned b/c he thinks Bran is getting too entangled in his wolf dreams. He keeps on telling Bran to mark a tree in his dream which I think is hillarious, but it makes sense b/c then Bran would be in control. They decide instead of staying there they are going to go find the three eyed crow above the wall who can teach Bran how to master his gift. [Thinking this refers to someone in the Night Watch b/c the people north fo the wall call them "crows"...]
JN Note: Or does it refer to that 3 eyed crow that was always peckin' at his face in Book 1? Re marking trees, he shoudl make water like arya used to.
CB Note: A different kind of tree marking baby. Anyway, as much as I love Bran, he annoyed me during this time. Just wanting to live in Summer. I get that he likes being able to walk and run and prey. But he needs to listen to Jojen and Meera! They're smart!
RK Note: awww Bran is just a poor little kid with no family to protect him, on the run and in hiding and everyone thinks he's dead, and he's crippled and can't walk... I don't blame him for just wanting to live in Summer!

Davos returns to Dragonstone and everything has changed. He eats with Salladhor Saan who tellls him that Stannis will see no one except for Melisandre! He also finds out that one of his sons is a live. Davos is resolved to go and kill Melisandre (wooo) and he goes to do so but is arrested by the Queen's guards !!!! Ruh roh.
JN Note: ohnoes, that sneaky Melisandre! somebody's gotta stop her! didn't you hope last blog that davos would try to kill her? that made me lol i think.
CB Note: How did she knowwwwww?! Evil magic woman.
RK Note: But more proof that she DOES know things and DOES have power. Is her magic evil, or is R'Hllor good and mighty and powerful after all? I can't decide!!!

Interesting Jaime chapter next. They stop at the ale house where the Stark guy kneeled to the Targyniananana (?) and trade their ship for some horses and supplies. They head south. Brienne, being kick ass, realizes it is a trap to get hte horses back so she takes a different route. Jaime is kinda impressed. We get an intersting dream where he remembers how/when he killed the previous king. Apparently he joined the King's Guard b/c Cersei had been sent to King's Landing but then as soon as he got there she was sent away. Also, oddly enough, he killed the king but didn't seem to want to take the thrown for himself. This seems to show at least some level of self control.
JN Note: Targaryen*. L2SpellThronePlease. and, ooooh at this Kingslayer history stuff. To think, he joined the Kingsguard just to be with Cersei. Oh, the things we do for love...
CB Note: Nice one babe. So LB, after your second Jaime chapter, what are your thoughts about him? Still want him to die?
RK Note: Loving Jaime!!! He really LOVES Cersei, which is SICK and CREEPY yet somehow sweet, except Cersei is so evil, or so it SEEMS, maybe one day we'll see things from her perspective and it will change. But it seems like he only killed Aerys for the good of the realm because he had gone MAD and was doing cruel evil things and wanted to burn the city! So Jaime isn't so brute and cold after all, it seems!! Also SO CLEVER of Brienne to realize those were outlaws and they were going to steal the horses back! She's good!!!

Sillly sillllllly Tyrion goes to Varys and gets him to bring Shae to his chambers "one last time" (famous last words). It's really sad that the only people who he finds to love him are people he has to pay. Even though Shae seems sincere, she is still all "can I have my jewels and gowns." They do it on Varys's floor and he seems to promise her he'll see her again. Silly silly tyrion. Also he discovers Vary's secret stairway below the bed. Shae tells him that she had still been speakign to that singer dude who is going to be at Joffrey's weddign and she wants to go with. Tyrion is concerned abuot this singer. I hope he's not one of Cersei's spies! (Or worse, Tywin's)
JN Note: oh tyrion, always thinking with his little dwarf :(
CB Note: Lol, that was funny baby.
RK Note: LOL. Shae seems sincere but she also is very into the jewels and silks and attending fancy galas and such. Tyrion might get her hanged!

Doing two Arya chapters here: Arya and her gang arrive at the same inn that Brienne and Jaime went to. They pick up these three outlaw folk people on the way. they are about to sit down and eat when soldiers come up. One of them is Gendry and she (forgetting herself I guess) runs up to him and yells his name and he recognizes her. I guess she thinks he's one of her dad's men and he'll help her. When they leave Hot Pie stays at the inn to bake for them. Arya keeps on wondering why they are going south instead of north and finally she asks and Gendry tells her how he left and joined Thoros's (?) gang. He is apparently taking Arya to Thoros not to Riverrun. Ugh. I let out an audible groan on the train at this point. Goddamn it she is so close!!!
JN Note: No, Gendry is the Bull, and Robert's Bastard, who arya has been traveling with. The one in the band she recognized was Harwin, who used to be a horsemaster at Winterfell, and was sent with Beric Dondarrion's group to go arrest the Mountain that Rides back in Book 1 (see today's RK Notes AGOT blog). So, arya is excited, bc she finally found somebody who is a loyal stark and will recognize her! cb was totes mcgoats excited!!! and then, a chapter later... OUCH. totally foiled! Love it. i wonder what the people next to you on the train thought.
CB Note: Yea, its true. I think I did a little happy dance at the end of the first chapter, but was SOOOOOOOOOOO sad at the end of the second. She tried to run away but they caught up with her. Sigh.
RK Note: Yeah LB you mean HARWIN, not Gendry. Ooh a reference to RK notes, how exciting!! Loyalties change so quickly in this game of thrones!!

Big news in the Catelyn chapter! She hears dogs barking b/c Robb has returned and they are scared of Grey wind. Robb has become quite the trixy one! He tells Catelyn how he forgives her because she did what she did out of love. After that he announces that he is married to some chick (forgetting her name). This totally boxes in because he just forgave her for doing something for love. This is also very bad because the Freys are gonna be pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed. I just hope this doesn't screw them in the long run. Also, I'm very upset with how Robb is treating his direwolf. Apparently his wife is scared of him and so he didn't bring him into the great hall. Robb is a Stark. He's the young wolf! He should know better! I'd never treat Pokey like that!
JN Note: Jeyne Westerling. and, love how robb wtfpwned catelyn on the who doing things for love things. in fact, it reminds me of something i wrote just above... I agree, id never make any of our little stuffed animals, or Patches P Mo (our future direwolf) wait outside. as for hte Freys... ruh roh!! But hey, lets congratulate Robb for gettin married, and finalyl gettin' some you know what!
CB Note: Baby, Patches is my direwolf! Get (and name) your own! Direwolves should always be with their Stark!!
RK Note: I want a little direwolf pup too! Who's Pokey? Robb is such a DOLT for marrying Jeyne, he's screwing EVERYTHING up, and just for her HONOR? Psha.

Jon is walking along looking at the Giants when stupid bones dude comes by and attacks him with his hawk. They bring Jon to the fist, where Mance is waiting. Jon sees all of these dead Night Watch people and horses and is afraid as to what happened. Mance is pissed b/c Jon had lied about how many there were. He tells them that there were 300. A few funny scenes about how Ygritte tries to all snuggle up with him at night and he gets Ghost to sleep in between them. BUT at the end of the chapter, to get Mance to believe them, Ygritte tells him that she is doing the horizontal hokey pokey with Jon. Woooo wooooooo. They haven't done anything yet but the chapter ends with her saying something like "Find another place for Ghost to sleep"
JN Note: some nites, when i feel like sticking my left foot in and shaking it all about, i send Patches P Mo to find someplace else to sleep...
CB Note: No comment to that!
RK Note: Ygritte is something else! I LOL at her "You know nothing, Jon Snow!" comments.

Sansa Sansa, when will you learn. She has been given a new dress and all sorts of things presumably at the wish of Maergery and Granny. I won't say much about the chapter because not much happened but she sees her fool knight in the godswood and tells him she does not want him to help her escape because Granny is going to send her to Highgarden to be married. Sansa needs to learn that everything comes with a price. Granny is obviously doing this for her own benefit (as fool knight points out, Sansa is heir to winterfell now that Bran and Rickon are purportedly dead). Perhaps they will find out that Bran and Rickon are alive and Granny will revoke her offer. Sigh. I hope she doesn't burn her bridges with fool knight!
JN Note: the first 6 words of this paragraph made me lol for real. As for the rest, sansa is in a tough situation, she just wants to get out of there as quick as possible. anything would be better than spending her life with the Lannisters!!!
CB Note: True, she's gotta get out! But Dantos has been with her for awhile now and he owes her his life! That seems more trustworthy than these new Tyrells she's just met!
RK Note: I don't know about that Ser Dontos, he seems such a drunken fool!! Sansa needs to get OUTTA there. It seems like those Tyrell girls make nice new friends for her, too... Also why does the eldest crippled Tyrell even need Winterfell, he's heir to Highgarden!

3 Weeks Worth of Heroes!

I bet you're all pumped for this! CB Notes the past 3 episodes of Heroes!

LB Note: YAYYYYYYY. Made my day.

1:00 Really intricate artsy shots of bad guy whatshisface shaving. And he apparently has a security alarm that tells him when his front door opens.
LB Note: Apparently he is super creepy. Also I wonder if he ever finished shaving...

1:30 It's the puppet guy!! He's all puppeted up. I can't really remember where we last saw him. I think Claire and her mom refused to help him.
RK Note: NOT sad he is dead!!
LB Note: This is correct. He is creepy and I'm kinda glad he got caught.
CB Note: He was super creepy, but also had a cool ability. I wouldn't have minded to see him become good with Clairebear's help, but alas, it wasn't to be! I will say however, that before I remembered that Claire refused to help him, I thought maybe it was a trick to get Danko! That woulda been cool.

2:00 Puppet-guy gasps but then falls back to sleep.

2:30 Traffic in the rain. HRG has lil toilet paper thingies over his shaving cuts. 1. Who does that and leaves it on his face when he goes outside? and 2. those would totally come off in the rain - he didnt even have an umbrella!
LB Note: Sometimes you cut yourself shaving and it won't stop bleeding and you gotta run!

3:00 Angela "Make him trust you" that'll be easy. She suggests giving him "one of us." Perhaps the puppeteer. They're talking about rebel like he's important and they know all about him.

5:00 Danko and Mohinder walk into a room filled with people with IVs in them. I semi-forget how Mohinder was captured. And Daphne is there too. Mohinder wants to get her some help. Danko just tricked him into coming into the room instead of having to carry him. Seems unnecessary to me!
LB Note: This was SOOOO STUPID. Why did he go there with them? I do not understand. Isn't he supposed to be a super smart scientist. After this many seasons hasn't he learned to not trust people!
CB Note: I also do not understand at all why this happened. Why did Mohinder think that Danko just wanted him for his brain? This was just a weak tool to show us the new facilities of where they're keeping the heroes. Btw, is there such a medicine that when hooked up to people keeps them completely asleep and docile but when removed IMMEDIATELY wears off so that they can run away and fight back?

LB Note: That is soooo true. Why would they just wake up straight away!
RK Note: Great point! Not plausible!

10:00 "I'm smarter than the average bear" - Danko. That's my line dude, lay off.

11:00 Some talking about trapping Rebel and HRG offering to kill Tracy.

12:00 Yay! Hiro & Ando are back. And they thing Matt's baby is Matt turned into a baby. Ando is cute being "warm mommy" while Hiro is being kind of mean. And baby Matt has a power - he's electric! do do do do do do do do do do
RK Note: I had TOTALLY forgotten Matt had a baby, and also, why did Matt himself not care enough to go and see his own baby all this time?!?! The kid playing the baby is SO CUTE by the way.
LB Note: The Ando as warm mommy was both hilarious and creepy.
CB Note: True, cause didn't Janis get preggers in season 1, so Matt knew she'd have a baby, but never met him? Isn't that odd, for such a caring teddy bear such as Matt?

LB Note: Parkman is a deadbeat dad!!!!
RK Note: SOO not like softie teddy bear matt!

14:00 Angela dreamt 30 seconds into the future and saw people coming for her and managed to escape.

15:00 Rebel is saving Tracy. But why? she's so boring. She finds the room where they're all being kept unconscious. She only saves Mohinder and Parkman. Sucks for those other guys!

16:00 Weird, they can't see them! How'd Rebel manage that? Now Danko wants to follow Tracy to find Rebel. I guess it was their plot to set them free.
LB Note: Yup. I feel like this was in a previous ep as well where they purposely set her free.

21:00 Tracy is at a store stealing clothes. Funny! HRG followed her there. Also, attendents in fitting rooms are NEVER that attentive.
LB Note: When I was a sales associate at Express we always had to bring different clothes to the people in the fitting rooms and like ask them if they needed sizes and stuff. I always thought it was super awkward. When i'm in a fitting room I don't want people like coming to talk to me! Also remember how many opened shirts and pins we left in the Macy's fitting room...sucks for the people cleaning!
CB Note: Hahaahahahaha yea we totally messed that place up. And while yes, I have had people ask if I need anything, i've never had someone ask 3 times in a matter of minutes!

23:00 Yay Jedi Mind tricks!! BTW Matt's lie about what happened to Daphne was the best acting he's done all season. Why can't he be that believable normally?

24:00 Awww Baby Matt is adorable! Ando is Dr. Philling Hiro about his parental issues.
RK Note: Isn't Baby matt SO CUTE?!?!?!?!?!??! He just makes me go AWWWWWWWWWWWWW like mike mellin in a basket of puppies
CB Note:

RK Note: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

25:00 Matt's baby momma comes home and finds them hiding in the closet with stuffed animals. Adorable!
RK Note: I used to do this when I was little, and make my mom pretend she couldn't tell which one was me and which one was my blond haired cabbage patch doll who i thought looked like me

27:00 Tracy walks by a very friendly ATM thanks to Rebel. And finally the big reveal...Rebel is....Micah!! I think this is a nut, but I can't really remember if I came up with the idea myself.
RK Note: I loved this and thought it was so cute, and the "rebel" thing is less lame knowing all he lamness of it was by a little kid, which turns lame into cute
LB Note: This was a GIANT Caryn Nut!!!!
RK Note: Major nut credits!

32:00 Angela goes to meet Swoosie Kurtz, who we love from Pushing Daisies (among other things). Angela asks for help, but Swoosie can only handle a couple hundred dollars. What's that going to get her??
RK Note: LOVE Swoosie Kurtz, from Cruel Intentions especially!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LB Note: Swoosie?
RK Note: Name of the actress, and an odd name perhaps, but I sort of love it

33:00 Ando and Hiro trying to explain that baby Matt is special. "It started during the eclipse" Zzzz snoozefest.
LB Note: They really need to give up on this eclipse crap.

34:00 She believes Matt's really a terrorist. Come on lady!

35:00 The agents come for her and the baby in a perfectly timed walk-in.

36:00 OOOOH! Hiro got his power back randomly and unexplained! The baby electricized him? Isn't that sort of what Ando's power is tho. Cute tho he tried to YATA! with the baby. Unfortunately he can't get it to work again so has to take Ando away in a wheelbarrow.
LB Note: Noooo the baby can turn things on and off, including powers. I'm not sure if this is really dumb or kinda smart.
CB Note: The baby is super adorable, making his ability adorable, and therefore more on the smart side. :)
RK Note: The baby can turn things on and off, but he only turned on Hiro's time stopping abilities, not his teleporting abilities!

41:00 Daphne wakes up in the hospital surrounded by balloons and cards for Gwen Stefani. Matt convinced them all that she was Gwen to get a good room and special treatment. Lol.
LB Note: To quote JN, I thought this was Lolz

42:00 Daph is apparently all better now. And now that she's better, she's back to telling Matt that they shouldn't be together. Come on!! Stop with the fake drama!!!!

43:00 Tracy going to the locker where Rebel sent her to find a passport. Micah, who looks way old btw, it's like Walt on Lost, can't believe Tracy would act as bait. So he sets off an alarm so they can get away.

44:00 Angela walks into her building and is being chased. She gets in the elevator and looks pretty badass staring down the soldiers.

45:00 It looks like Angela is cooked, getting brought back down to the lobby in the elevator. Then it opens and bam! Peter's there too! Everyone is apparently too surprised to act in the next 5-10 seconds before he flies them away.
LB Note: How did Peter know where she'd be. This was dumb.

49:00 Micah is giving Tracy a piece of his mind. Tracy mentions some revolutionary person I've never heard of. Justin, who "isn't watching" gets up in arms about this.
LB Note: I think Im ight have been asleep at this point, cause I don't remember this scene...

51:00 They're being followed in the parking lot. How did all those soldier guys get there?? So Rebel starts the sprinklers and Tracy tells him to run and stay in front of the ice! Then she walks out to where the soldiers are and COLD SNAP. It was pretty cool special effects I think.
RK Note: This was cool effects, and THANK GOD all these Ali Larter characters are gone now, because they all SUCKED
LB Note: Eh....
CB Note: No I really liked the special effects here! It was the rest of the story that was Eh! I do hope that this finally means the end of Ali Larter. They always fake us out with her!
RK Note: Please, please, let her be dead this time!

52:00 Then Danko after all that comes walking out and shoots Frozen Tracy into a zillion pieces. But she blinked when it zoomed in on her piece of face.
LB Note: Suggesting that she still may be alive. Isn't this sand dude in Spiderman 3...

56:00 Daph is in Paris. Parkman is there - but how?? He says he flew. I dont think he can fly. I think he's just in her head, maybe? He's flying her around Paris. This is pretty lame.

57:00 NUT! He IS in her head!! They're still in the hospital!!!! I totes didn't realize it while they were in the hospital, tho I did think it was odd she was all better so quickly. Sad, she's really dead. :(
LB Note: I thought this was a good little scene! He loves her! I also didn't realize it was in her mind and got so pissed when they like made up that Parkman could fly, but then I realized he was making it up so it's fine.
CB Note: But doesn't this also mean that they made us think she was dead then inexplicably kept her alive for pretty much no reason? I hate that.
RK Note: Almost as bad as May-jah. Also what happened to that girl who could see things on TV and develop the abilities who was Micah's cousin?

58:00 Angela and Peter are in the Statue Of Liberty? Buy why??
LB Note: Cause America stands for freedom! Also I heard from Kid Rock in a commercial for a National Guard before a movie, that freedom isn't free...
RK Note: Did we EVER learn why that little jaunt to the statue of liberty was relevant?

ON TO EPISODE TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:00 That car horn lets me know that we're in Mexico. Nathan and Claire (with new bangs - now they'll never recognize you!) are hiding out.
RK Note: Consensus on Claire's bangs?
CB Note: I think all of Claire's (obvious) wigs are pretty awful.
RK Note: OMG I didn't know Claire wore wigs!!! I am apparently too blind for it to be obvious to me. I had no clue! Why does she need a wig, she has perfectly fine hair in real life!!!!!! Unless its ALWAYS a wig? Did anyone see hayden panettiere's music video where the song is like "i think i might have to cheat, to keep his eyes on me" and she changes outfits a lot and it's a little creepy? If not, I advise going to YouTube and viewing it ASAP, I think the song is called "Wake up" and goes "this is your wake up call..."

2:00 Peter and Angela land somewhere. And now he's yelling at her that he wants answers. Sudden downpour! They're at some church. Angela's being all vague, as our Heroes are wont to do.
LB Note: Angela gets on my nerves. Just tell him the truth already!

3:00 HRG and Danko with some dead peeps. Apparently they sent some soldiers to get some guy who was red flagged in the DNA database. But they don't even know what his ability is! That's a big no no for HRG.
LB Note: Also seems out of character for Danko since he's all i'll spy on you and find out everything about you and take you down. This was dumb.

4:00 Danko gets in his car and listens to some old, inappropriately cheerful music. Sylar pops up in the backseat! He wants to team up with Danko. And just like that, poof, he's gone.

9:00 Danko giving a rousing speech to his underlings about catching the teacher guy. Then he gives HRG an assignment to get Angela. Oh noes!
LB Note: He's trying to set up HRG. Clearly he doesn't trust him. Damn it HRG, do we need to send Micah in to do everything!

12:00 Claire and Nathan. She pawned the necklace HRG got her for some money. Now Nathan is gonna try to hustle some teenagers in drinking games to turn it into more!
LB Note: Total Nash style nut from me here. As soon as I saw this, I was like um he soooo old now he's gonnna lose and Clare will have to rescue him.

13:00 Angela is at their church. Apparently she has insomnia. She wants to find peace so she can earn some sleep and dreams.
LB Note: I also go to church when I can't sleep and sit there. The image of a bloody Jesus helps...

15:00 Something is way off about this guy coming in to thank Danko for his speech. Now Sylar is calling Danko and has a present for him. A head! Turns out that guy was a shapeshifter! I knew something was off about him!
LB Note: I thought this was kinda clever.
CB Note: Agreed! I wish they spent more time coming up with these cool powers!

20:00 Danko chasing shapeshifter guy. This whole plot is such a snoozer. Ew at the shapeshifting special effects.
RK Note: Honestly, is this the XFiles? This episode was AWFUL.
LB Note: Yes soooo gross when he changes. I was gonna make a ACOK reference here but I'll abstain for RK"s sake.
AGOT > Heroes

22:00 I'm bored with this Angela/Peter scene too. Talking is not this show's strong suit.
LB Note: Does anyone have a power to turn people mute? If so, get them to Peter STAT.
RK Note: LOL

23:00 Now here's something that can hold my interest. Drinking!! Nathan's pounding them down. There's only one guy left. Nathan passes out and Claire gets in on the drinking action to try to get the money back.
LB Note: NUTTTT. I enjoyed when Clare had to pretend to be drunk. Or was that later in the ep. Eh...
CB Note: Lol! I liked that part too tho.

25:00 Danko and Sylar. More talking. *Yawn*

29:00 Peter talks to god blah blah. Then just as he asks him to show up, the bad guys turn up!! Peter and Angela hide in the confession booths.
LB Note: I don't understand why they'd hide there. They can't get out. It's not like the soldiers would be like well it's a confessional, we can't violate that. We won't look there even though we can see peoples' feet.
CB Note: Yea, why couldn't Peter just fly them towards the door?

32:00 Sylar and Danko are at the shapeshifter's apt. Danko sure is slow. He looks through a bunch of pictures and says that the shapeshifter isnt in any of them. DUH he's a shapeshifter, he's in all of them!!
LB Note: Haha Danko is a dumb ass. I thought this was hilarious in a wow you're a jackass type of way.

34:00 Yay back to Mexico! Claire has to pretend to act drunk. Apparently her liver is impenetrable as well! Looks like Claire won the money!!
LB Note: Again, Lolz when Clare pretends to be drunk.
RK Note: HELLO, she is underage! I mean I get that it's Mexico and there probably is no drinking age there, but still, sending bad messages about underage drinking, and father-daughter drinking, being a-ok!

39:00 HRG finds Angela and Peter in the church but lets them go!
LB Note: YAaaaaaaaawn.

40:00 Shape-shifter has shape-shifted into Danko and is macking on some girl.

43:00 Lol, Nathan drunk and flew.
LB Note: Is it as fun as drunk karting?

48:00 Is fake Danko is pretending to be real Danko?? Nope! It's fake SYLAR! But real Danko shoots him. Then real Sylar takes his ability.
LB Note: I thought this was dumb. I totally thought it was real Sylar and fake Danko. Sigh.
CB Note: Me too :) They sure are "trixxy"

52:00 More Nathan-Claire Father-Daughter time. Now she's crying. blah blah
RK Note: Did anyone else note creepy sexual tension during the scene where they share the hotel room and she like puts the blanket over Nathan and you wonder if they're going to share a bed?
CB Note: I think someone's been reading too much Game of Thrones...
RK Note: Probably very true!

54:00 Angela and Peter are finally leaving that church. What did they spend the night in there?
LB Note: So she could sleeeeeeeeeeep and dream and find out what to do!

56:00 Claire is leaving Nathan? That seems silly. Ah, she's won over again cause he got her necklace back. We girls love jewelry!
LB Note: Silly girls and their jewelry.

58:00 Danko is pretending to have caught Sylar!!! But it's really the shape-shifter. Very trixxy, as J would say.

59:00 Wooooo upbeat music. Let's dance! I'm feeling optimistic about everything now! "We gotta get out of this plaaaaaaaaaaaace" Ick, shapeshifting really isn't pretty.

60:00 I think Danko's pretty stupid to be teaming up with Sylar. "You'd be the last one left" Don't you see potential for a big problem there?!?
LB note: So Stupid. Sylar will turn on him.


ON TO EPISODE 3!!!!!!!!!!!

1:00 Ruh Roh. HRG is checking out fake Sylar. If Danko didn't show up, I think he was gonna take out the blade in his head and find out that its not the real deal!

2:00 Hiro & Ando! And adorable baby Matt. They're trying to find Parkman. Ruh roh again. Baby Matt is crying up a storm and drained all the electricity from the car!
LB Note: I love that even after knowing the baby's power, they don't understand what happened.

3:00 Mohinder is headed to India. Have a safe flight!!! Matt is loading a gun and wants REVENGE! Where did Matt get all of those pictures of Danko? Did he hire a private detective at some point?

4:00 Mrs Bennett ......or Sylar in disguise??? She wants to find out where Claire is.

5:00 Nope, Sylar was actually pretending to be Danko all along. Sylar watch music, yay.
RK Note: Sylar being able to shape shift makes things VERY complicated, no?
CB Note: And very hard to nut!

LB Note: Very complicated and very creepy.

10:00 Angela calling HRG. Angela had a dream and wants HRG to meet them. He's suspicious of fake sylar and wants to find out if he's the real deal, but oh noes! they've taken all the bodies to be burned.

LB Note: What amazes me is that they are all undercover and secretive, yet Angela can just call HRG on his cell phone. You'd think they'd have that thing tapped by now!

11:00 Mohinder went back to his apt but it was all cleared out. Turns out his dad left some stuff in storage that no one told him for these 4 seasons.

12:00 Ando and Hiro get picked up by this funny Asian looking Texan. But Baby Parkman is still unhappy, so the whole truck shuts down!

LB Note: I thought the part where Ando starts talking to him in Japanese and the dude is like "huh, what y'all talking about" was hillarious lol.

13:00 Parkman is getting inside Danko's head and making him think the person closest to him is in trouble.

LB Note: I don't get why Parkman doesn't just get in his head and make him committ suicide.

15:00 HRG manages to catch up to dead fake Sylar and pull out the knife in the back of his head. He didn't wake up, so HRG knows its not Sylar. My question is, wouldn't shapeshifter, when killed, revert back to his original shape? HRG asks dead guy "who are you?" He's dead. He's not gonna answer!

LB Note: No I don't think I agree about the reverting back. Looks like you have to go through this whole concentrating face morphing thing...Also, shouldn't smart HRG have been able to deduce that he was the shapeshifter guy they were trying to catch in the previous episode...

17:00 Mrs Bennett wants a divorce biyotch. Ouch. "I don't love you anymore" That was way harsh Mrs Bennett.

18:00 Oh noes! This time Mrs Bennett WAS Sylar in disguise!
LB Note: As I discussed briefly with CB, I am highly confused by the clothing situation with the shapeshifting. Does it change your clothes too? If not, then Sylar was just walking down the street in Mrs. Bennett's clothing, which I think is funny.

22:00 Ando and Hiro are trying to make funny faces to make the baby happy. I sure like them!! Ando makes one particular adorable face that keeps the baby quiet.

23:00 Danko's most precious person is some hot woman. No way he could land that. Parkman is out to take the one thing that matters most to Danko. How very Ben Linus of him.

24:00 Matt's way too nice to do this for reals.

25:00 NUT!

27:00 Noah noticed that Mrs. Bennett's signature doesn't match her normal signature. Good job HRG!!
LB Note: Also why did he have her signature immediately accessible on his computer?

28:00 Hiro is calling Mohinder to find out where Matt is. "Ando! Make the face!' Hehe.
LB Note: You'd think Mohinder would have changed his number after having been caught by the feds twice. If they called him, he'd probably tell them where he was, cause he's kinda dumb.

29:00 Meet-up at Cayote Sands!

30:00 Ruh roh yet again! Noah's at Sandra's hotel putting a gun to her head. But I think she's the real deal this time.

34:00 Sandra is spitting out info about Noah but he's not buying it! Good thing Luke called with a perfectly timed call asking about where Mr. Muggles pills are and Sandra could truly prove she isn't Sylar! Sandra, you gotta forgive him! He has a perfectly reasonable explanation for trying to kill you!

LB Note: Now she's gonna divorce him for realz!

37:00 Parkman with a plan! He took call-girl lady to Danko to confront him. Matt is forcing him to tell the truth. Aw, emotional. No way. Matt wouldn't hurt an innocent woman! Yea I thought so. But dropping the gun prob wansn't smart. Now Danko got to his gun!

41:00 But no! Perfectly timed walk-in by Hiro!! "Whoa, close one" Lol!
LB Note: Obviously b/c Hiro was so close to Washington DC and was able to find Parkman at Danko's apartment.

45:00 Lol. That is SO sylar posing as HRG. He had such a funny smirk. He snuck into Bennett's hotel room and found some secret files! Ahh double fake out!! It was HRG pretending to be Sylar pretending to be HRG!
RK Note: This was great! Totally awesome double fakeout!!!!!!!

LB Note: Total double fake! Wooo HRG!

47:00 Hiro is giving his hero speech yet again. Awww. Matt Parkman, meet Matt Parkman! Awwwwwwwwwwww he's adorabllllllllllllllllllllllllle. He makes cute faces. J would like him. Awwwwwwwww he's happy! The electric cars are going haywiiiiiiiiiiire. :) I like babies with powers.
RK Note: SO CUTE SO CUTE SO CUTE, I love baby matt parkman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

49:00 Oh Danko, double-crossing HRG yet again. Sigh. He set HRG up to kill this innocent guy!!!! Now HRG is going nutso! I say, better head to Cayote Ranch or whatevs.
LB Note: This scene pisssssssssssed me off. Someone needs to shoot Danko in the head or put a spike in the back of it or something.

54:00 Ha! He tricked him! It was Sylar all along!
RK Note: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH poor Bennet! What Bennet SHOULDA done was pretended that it was Sylar pretending to be Bennet who killed the guy who was really Sylar, instead of just running.

LB Note: Not sure I get the RK suggestion...

55:00 Mohinder made some sort of map with strings all pointing to Coyote Sands. Why?? Go to India Mohinder!!! GOOOOOOO!
LB Note: Oh the unecessary string map with no meaning, how i've missed it.

56:00 Meet up at the OK Corral! "This is where our story really begins."

57:00 "If you want the answers, then you'll have to DIG" This is ridiculous. And why isn't Angela helping to dig? Also, ok so they find a skeleton. Why do they have to dig up the skeletons? Why can't she just say "a lot of people got killed here"
RK Note: Agreed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LB Note: I was sitting there going, Ok why doesn't she just tell them? (I know the answer to this now having watched the subsequent week's ep., but it still is dumb.)

59:00 HRG!

Hmm...ok not horrible.

A Storm of Swords Entry I

As I mentioned to CB, I find the Prologues to be rather difficult to get through. In ASOS, we start out beyond the wall at the Fist. Hints and the acknowledgement in the beginning of the book suggest that this is at the same time when Jon et al. are up lookign for the secret in the mountain. Chett, the dude who Jon got Sam to replace as the Maester's assistant, is planning a rebellion. Him and some other dudes are going to kill Mormont and some other people (including Sam or Ser Piggy as he calls him hahah) and then either desert the Night's Watch or hope that Mormont's successor is going to flee. They go back and Sam is taking archery practice and actually hits a target (methinks we have a potential nut in the making here. Sam is gonna kill someone important). Mormont calls everyone and announces that they are leaving the fist to lead secret attacks on Mance's troops. Chett goes to sleep only to be woken up prematurely by three blasts of the warhorn. This is no good b/c it means not a returning ranger, not an attack, but the Others. Ruh roh.
JN Note: I agree, the prologues are sort of different and rough bc they are new characters. This one sets up some dischord in the Watch though, and of course the arrival of Others. what will happen? Will Sam be alright?!
CB Note: "OMGEEE WHATZ GONNA HAPPENZ?!?!" Sigh. Didn't Chett pee himself or someting? lol! Also, do you notice somewhat of a theme in the prologues of each book?
RK Note: Chett DID pee himself, totally!! But I don't blame him because when I heard the Others were coming, I almost peed myself too. I want to bring up a distinction that has only become clear to be in ASOS that I never realized in prior books-- that the "wights" and the "Others" are apparently DIFFERENT things-- there appears to be "wights" that take the shape of dead people and dead animals that look like their actual recognizable forms but are like zombies sort of, walking dead with their flesh hanging off and stuff, and then there's the Others that are silvery shapes with those piercing blue eyes. They both come and try to kill everyone. Is this accurate or am I confused?

Cut to....Jaime...huh? I was so confused as to why we have Jaime chapters all of a sudden. He's on a boat with Brienne and his cousin. Turns out Catelyn didn't kill him but sent him back to King's Landing for an exchange with her daughters. Sigh. Jaime is such a d-bag. He keeps calling Brienne wench or something and she is pissed. I hope she totally kicks his ass. She should be slapping him across the face constantly. Funny scene where he shaves his head because he doesn't want poeple to see him in chains. They stop at some tree where some of Robb's peeps string up a bunch of tavern whores who slept with Lannister men. They are all so cruel! What happened to due process guys!?!? They are trying to bury them when they see a ship pursuing them. Turns out it is people from Riverrun who are trying to get the Kingslayer back. They are about to do so when Brienne climbs up on the side and drops a huge rock onto the pursuing ship. Ha! Brienne is so bad ass. I love it. Jaime makes some smug comment about how he could have just rowed away with his cousin and escaped. I doubt so jackass. Brienne is the one who is gonna get you safely back to Kings Landing.
JN Note: The first great twist of ASOS - JAIME CHAPTERS! totally unexpected, and the first view from one of the real Lannister bad guys (as opposed to tyrion). and he is so mean to brienne, he deserves whatever she does to him. poor Brienne hte Beauty. and even the Stark peeps killed innocent people? le sigh. there is just no rule of law during these war times. its totes like hte GWOT!
CB Note: Jaime chapters were a BIG surprise. Can't wait to see what you think of them moving forward! I'm also a big fan of Brienne!
RK Note: What is the GWOT? I LOVE Brienne and I sort of like Jaime too, seeing the world through his eyes from his perspective has really changed my impressions! Of course, Jaime grew on me later in the book and not so early on. Brienne is the best though!

Cut to Catelyn who is in biiiiiiiiiig trouble for setting Kingslayer free. At her own suggestion, they confine her to her father's chamber until Edmure returns. Her father is deteriorating. He keeps on saying something about how he's so sorry Tansy. Catelyn surmises that this is actually Lysa and figures she was pregnant when her dad married her to Jon Arryn. Catelyn writes to Lysa to come and forgive her father so he can die in peace. Then Edmure comes back and is pissed at Catelyn and tells her he's sent people after them and has put Roose Bolton at Harrenhal at alert to capture Jamie and Brienne. Sigh.
JN Note: Catelyn, how could you be so stupid? le sigh. That tansy story sure was interesting. if you nutted it, do you have any guesses on who knocked her up?!
CB Note: Catelyn was just in an emotional place! She's lost two of her children!!! She wants to get all of her living children back! It might not have been smart, but you can imagine the place her mind was in. I also liked the tansy story.
RK Note: I wasn't 100% sold on Tansy being Lysa, but I did believe the story about Lysa being pregnant before her dad married her to Jon Arryn, Catelyn totally figured that out. I bet Petyr Baelish Littlefinger knocked her up!!!! But could Tansy also be someone ELSE important from her father's life?

Short and rather boring Arya chapter. They're traveling from Harrenhal and she falls asleep on her horse and has a wolf dream where she kills some of the Bloody Mummers. They don't reach the Trident yet.
JN Note: this was a set up chapter and a litle boring yea, though some of us appreciated the total awesomeness of Arya dreaming Nymeria and her pack saving them! i hope they find eachother before the end!
CB Note: Baby! That's not at all how I would have said it. Sigh. I would have said that Bran has his dreams where he's in Summer. John has had a dream where he's ghost....so Arya's dream must mean.....(and now that you've said it) that Nymeria is alive and safe and somehow looking out for Arya!
RK Note: I LOVE when Arya dreams of Nymeria, which must mean Nymeria is alive and still a part of her and they will be reunited at some point!!! I hope soon!!!!!!!!!!! I think it was clear back in ACOK though that the "big pack of wolves" terrorizing the forests lead by the biggest wolf ever is Nymeria with a pack of regular wolves.

To Tyrion who finds out that many of his plans and his control over Kings Landing has been undone! His head of the City Watch has been killed and Bronn has been made a knight. Bronn comes and appears to be still loyal to Tyrion but who knows. Tyrion goes to his father in the tower of the Hand and sort of suggests he should get his reward, namely his rights to Casterly Rock (since Jaime is a kingsgaurd and kingsgaurd cannot inherit land). Tywin says some nasty things about how he will never inherit Casterly Rock and basically calls him a freak who isn't really his son and threatens him not to fall in love with a whore again. As I said in ACOK, the wya they are treating Tyrion is no good for them. He is going to switch sides or something!
JN Note: Tyrion knew tywin would totally be an ass, but he asked anyway. it sure is unfair, he did all the work, and stupid tywin and the tyrells and renlys ghost are getting all the credits. NOT FAIR! we will keep in mind this twice projected nut of side switching, for future nut/raisin picure allocation, lb.
CB Note: Yes seriously, how do they not realize how smart and awesome Tyrion is. He's done so much for them and they don't appreciate him at all!! It's like when I do all the cooking and cleaning and don't get any props from JN! He better watch it!
RK Note: Poor Tyrion is treated so terribly by his own family!!! :(

Davos is alive!!!!!!!! Turns out he managed to swim under the chain and washed up on some island. He is reallllly depressed b/c all his sons are lost and he lost his fingers hanging around his neck!!! He has been surviving off of rainwater and crabs and he is contemplating death when he sees a ship in the distance. He surmises it is one of Stannis's ships because of the colors (though he cannot read) and he somehow calls them over to rescue him. Ohhhh Davos. I hope you go back and kill Melisandre that creepy biotch.
JN Note: did i tell you, or did i not tell you, that you would find out if davos was alive in ASOS? nut for me!!! good thing it was a stannis ship. yay davos! (btw, he kinda needed to live, so we could find otu what happy-happed to stannis and melisandre!). oh, also, re melisandre, wasnt it kinda not her fault they lost the battle?
CB Note: Double sigh. Baby, no nuts for things you already know!!!! Dont be ridonkulous! I think if melisandre was at the battle, it would have turned out way different cause she could have just birthed hundreds of shadow fighters to kill everybody. lol.
RK Note: It seems like she needs a partner to birth shadow figures and perhaps Stannis wasn't strong enough after birthing the last shadow? Like she needs a man to create shadows with like a baby? Also, it seems clear there's magic here and R'Hllor and the Red people can definitely get things accomplished... And I haven't seen the powers of the Seven and the Weirwoods and the Drowned God do antyhing yet, just R'Hllor... Soooo does this mean R'Hllor is the right god to be worshipping after all??!?!! I don't know what religion to adhere to!

Hilllarious Sansa chapter. She receives a dinner invite from Maergery. She is escorted over by Flower Knight and essentially makes a fool of herself by bringing up Renley. She gets there and is at dinner with Maergery and Maergery's grandmother, who people call the Queen of Thorns. Grandma is HILLARIOUS and speaks her mind. Turns out she is not happy with the match and wants to know the truth about Joffrey. Sansa is nervous to say anything at first (as she should be; she has learned not to trust anyone). She ends up telling the truth though, that Joffrey is a complete monster. Maergery suggests that they are going to get Sansa out to Higharden to marry her brother. Another hillarious moment where Sansa is all excited b/c she thinks she is marryign Loras, but is wrong obviously because he is kingsgaurd. Instead she is going to marry his older crippled brother (parralel to Bran?) I wonder who/if anyone will actually get her out of Kings Landing? Fool Knight or Granny?
JN Note: A BEAR, A BEAR, ALL BLACK AND BROWN, AND COVERED IN HAIR!! (not my bear sillies). this chapter was terrific. good by sansa not to be trusting, but i hope she gest out of there. Queen of Thorns is totes an awesome new character. great chapter all around. also, that loras leading sansa portion was great, for humor, and other reasons. Care to make a guess if sansa's savior will be Granny, Dontos, or none of the above?
CB Note: I looooove the Queen of Thorns! She was so awesome this chapter! I loved her take-no-guff attitude. Oh Knight of Flowers *swoon*
RK Note: There is SOMETHING meaningful about this BEAR AND THE MAIDEN FAIR song that is foreshadowing something, they keep bringing it up too much for it not to be important! But who is the Bear besides the "Old Bear" Commander Mormont of the Night's Watch? I also like the Queen of Thorns!

Jon is with the Wildings and goes to meet Mance. He mistakes some fat dude for Mance but it turns out Mance is the guy singing. They talk alone. We find out a number of things about Mance. He deserted from the Night Watch b/c of some incident where he was healed by a wilding who gave him this piece of red cloth and they wouldn't allow him to wear it b/c he has to wear black. Mance, it turns out, was at Winterfell during Robert's visit!!! He snuck in with Robert's entourage and no one nreally knows what he looks like so they didn't notice. He saw Jon and everyone there. I was so nervous here that Mance would see through Jon. Jon comes up with the brillian answer to why he deserted about "did you see where they had me sit during the feast?" Mance says somehting like "get this man a new cloak!" Phew first test is done!!!
JN Note: not much to say here, just a great answer by jon, well set up and felt badass evne tho it was just an answer ot a question.
CB Note: I also thought this scene was awesome, learning Mance was AT WINTERFELL!! AAAAACKKKKK!!! This is btw where I really wanted book 1 back so that I could reread the chapter with the feast haha. Also loved Jon's answer!
RK Note: Can't believe Mance was at Winterfell! I kind of LIKE Mance Rayder, surprisingly!!!!! I wonder if GRRM really plotted out ALL 7 books ahead of time so he could insert foreshadowing and plant little nuts so far along the way, like Mance being at the feast in AGOT.

To Daenerys who is on the ship with her dragons. Ser Jorah does not trust any of this. After a conversation with the old squire dude about her family (turns out he knew her dad and brother) she retires to bed and is completely nekked when Jorah comes in to convince her to test their loyalty. She is to order them to not go to Magister what's his face but instead go to one of the places in the Slaver's Sea. She is to purchase a bunch of the "Unsullied" from this one city. Story about the Unsullied in Qarth stopping the Dotrhraki at the walls. Danerys agrees that it's a good idea. She is about to get dressed and...Jorah kisses her!! He make some comment about how she is allowed to take husbands. Umm.....I dunno something about this creeps me out. Isn't Jorah supposed to be super old and Daenerys is like 14 or something...sigh...the incest and pedophilia in this book!
JN Note: Unsullied! you'll learn more about them lol. oh Jorah, its not his fault he loves dany. she's dany! i love her! how did this old squire dude know Dany's fam?
CB Note: I agree with the icky factor of old Jorah kissing young Dany. Blech!!! Get off Gramps!!
RK Note: Something in here was a little odd but at the same time I was kind of rooting for Dany to fall for Jorah! I kind of like the guy! And he can't be THAT old, right? Maybe like his 40s? I mean granted Dany is like 14 or 15, but still...