A Clash of Kings Entry 7

I did not get a chance to read much but as to what I did read, I have quite a bit to say. Theme for the day: More incest and incestuous overtones. Sigh.
CB Note: More incest?!
JN Note: sigh?! I believe you are overreacting. I will detail below.
RK Note: George R.R. Martin LOVES incest.

I started with Catelyn meeting with Renley. Essentially, they are at loggerheads because Renley wants Robb to acknowledge his claim and will not accept Robb's proposal for a divided kingdom. He mentions something about allowing Rob to call himself King in the North as long as he still acknowledges Renley's superior claim. Not gonna happen. As the chapter closes we hear word that Stannis has arrived with his host. Brother against brother! Civil War is trying!
CB Note: Everybody wants to be the king and no one wants to work together!!! Pretty dumb, says I.
JN Note: Renly*. These stupid kings. They need to realize they gotta unite and kill the evil Lannister twins!!! come on!!! Civil War is ohnoes, but maybe after they will emancipate the peasants, after the General's March to Storm's End... (i was going for a Sherman's march to the sea reference, but it was hard to do :( )
RK Note: Thus we have ourselves... a clash of kings

Next to Jon at the wall. They arrive at some creepy wilding dude who Mormont says is a friend. They are allowed to stay the night. Dude is creeeeeeeeeeeepy and he has tons of wives, many of whom are his daughters. Father-daughter incest now. Ew. Ew. Ewwww. One of the girls comes to Jon and asks him to save her because she is pregnant with a boy and apparently dude sacrifices the boys to the cold gods...the Others. Apparently they come into the village with their creepy dead blue eyes and he gives them the boys to appease them. Jon declines to help her but there is hint that they will pick her up on the way back to the wall. Well let's hope they manage to get back to the wall at all! Turns out that Mance Rayder (name?) is amassing an army. With all the armies in the south busy fighting each other, everyone is vulnerable.
CB Note: Ohhh yeaaaaa...Craster! By far the grossest incest! Blehhhhhhhhh. I dont even know how all these daughter don't end up all effed up genetically. Mance Rayder is correct :)
JN Note: Craster is the ewwww! But he's a friend of the Watch! and he told them how to find Mance! pretty creepy with all that sacrificing to Others though. Jon better not help, the Old Bear gave clear orders - no talking to Craster's wives! seriously though, as to the icky incesting, this scene displays the different types of incest, contrasting Craster's terribleness with Jaime and Cersei's consensual lovin'...
RK Note: OMG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW to Craster, how awful awful awful, and KILLING the boy babies as sacrifices to the Others... EW EW EW EW EW EW... And the Old Bear knew and hasn't done anything to stop it!!! Mance Rayder will soon march and the South will not be defended properly and the Wall doesn't have enough men to defend it... But where do these Others fit in? These "wights" scare me...

Now to the coup de grace. Theon. At the waterfront. Starts hitting on this chick. She is all sorts of saucy and he likes her. He "convinces" her to ride to the castle with him and essentially tells her alllll his secrets. Well, turns out it's his sister. She was completely playing him the whole time. EW EW EW she touched him...and ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. We also learn that Theon's dad has plans to march north on Winterfell. With Robb down south it is very vulnerable. This is no good ladies and gents. No good.
CB Note: Haha, more incestuous undertones! What is up with this author?? Anyway, I totally didnt see that coming. His sister! She's super trixxy, as J would say.
JN Note: cou de grace indeed! i can't believe you didn't like this scene. i thought it was LOL fo sho. Asha was funny, and totally played theon. he was being all horny and dumb, and she made him feel like a momo in teh end. which is good, b/c he's failing Robb, esp if Balon attacks Winterfell!!! Robb argued to Catelyn to send Theon, he better not betray!
RK Note: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED this!! I guessed she was NOT Sigrid's wife and something tricky was going on, but I didn't nut that she was ASHA right away. I LOVE Asha, I thought this was such a great scene.

A Clash of Kings Entry 6

First, finished the Bran chapter. They have this big feast with all of the different lords and stuff. It's so unfair that they make an eight year old at like an adult. Some new people come from the neck and pledge to Robb. They are dressed in all green and stuff and they want to see the direwolves.
CB Note: So unfair! Bran just wants to go outside and play!!! The green people are Jojen and Meera Reed.
JN Note: Meera and Jojen are indeed their names. And, perhaps the oath they swore sounded familiar to you? If not, it should have. I suggest you reread.
RK Note: Uh oh, where is that oath from? I can't remember, I read this chapter so long ago now... They're the ppl in green... There are so many peoples and so many religions... The Drowned God, the God of the Lady in Red, the Old Gods with faces carved in the Weirwood trees, the Gods that are the Others with the cold blue undead eyes, the Gods you pray to in the Sept, the Gods Khal Drogo prayed to...

Down to Tyrion who is touring the the stores of the alchemists of Greek fire or whatever they're calling it. Greek fire did actually exist. It doesn't get put out by water. He stops to give the city guard dude he installed instructions on how to teach people to use it and intercepts the letter from Bran offering a peace. He brings this to Cercei, who frankly is starting to sound whiny and annoying. She has discovered that Tyrion has offered Myrcella in a marriage and she is not amused. She slaps him at some point across the face when he makes some sarcastic remark about perhaps Myrcella could marry her brother. HAHAHAHA. Then she starts crying and Tyrion is upset that she won't let him comfort her. Oh Cercei, someone needs to smack some sense into you!
CB Note: Ugh, Cersei is the worst!! The Greek fire is called Wildfire. I don't really have too much to say right now lol.
JN Note: Don't you know how their are some fires that you are only supposed to put out with a fire extinguisher and not water? its like that! duh. Tyrion is the wittiest, love it! How did Cersei find out Tyrion's planzors?!?? (I can't believe cb didn't nut that i'd ask this question...)
CB Note: No, I thought you would.
RK Note: Tyrion has so many plans up his sleeves... That wildfire sounds very dangerous

Chapter with Arya that I already spoke to JN a little about. Big chapter here. The bull or whatever...he's one of Robert's bastards! They say something about him being a whore's son. Oh Robert with your whores. Also, he apparently knows that "arry" is a girl. Funny scene with him being like "well whip it out then" and Arya being like "I could if I wanted to!!!" Then asshole gets captured and Arya goes to rescue him. Too bad her other companions are morrrrrronnnnnnnns and they at first start screaming YIELD!!! I YIELD!!! Assholes.
CB Note: Damn those yielders!!! They totally screwed up her plans! I can't believe gendry got himself caught so quickly, what a newb. He's so not stealth like a cat.
JN Note: Gendry! The Bull! this is funny for us bc sometime during Game of Thrones you were like "this guy is gonna be important!" then you forgot and were just like there's this guy with a bull horn when Clash of Kings started. At the time, i wanted to write "I wonder who it is!!!! I bet you know him!!" but cb and mm made it be baleeted. So you lost the chance to nut it... Also, this makes it obvi why the Lannisters wanted him! as to the scene, the dialogue cited was certainly lol. And i loved all the yielding. how'd that yielding work out for Lommy Greenhands?
RK Note: I nutted who Gendry was early on!! Can't these people learn that yielding just gets you killed!!!

To Catelyn who is traveling to bring message to Renly. She gets there and they are apparently having a tourney! This is war you fools don't have a tourney!!! Somehow knight of flowers dude gets beaten...and by a woman! At one point Catelyn makes some comment about how the biggest tragedy in the world is an ugly woman. I lol'ed on the subway. I end with her going to a feast and watching Renly and about to go talk to him. Wonder if something good can come of this!
CB Note: That was pretty funny by Catelyn - an ugly women is pretty unfortunate in a world that makes beauty important!
JN Note: Hey now! They don't call her Brienne The Beauty for nuttin'!!! oddly, cb still swoons over Ser Loras, despite him losing to Brienne. as to the tourney during war.... thats renly for ya!
RK Note: I want to be the Kurth of Flowers, I want a cape made of flowers soooooooooooooooo badly!!!

A Clash of Kings Entry 5

Began with Jon with the large party heading into the forest in search of Ben. They come upon this deserted village, apparently one of many. All of the people and game are gone as if something has scared them away. Apparently even ghost cannot find game. Not that much happened in this chapter, which makes me think I missed something...
CB Note: I dont think you missed anything, I recall that chapter being a little on the boring side. Similar to the Dany chapter you just read where they're just wandering the desert. It's like, ok...can something happen already??
JN Note: yes, this was a slow-ish chapter. Designed to build suspense.. where are the wildlings???
RK Note: Oh where oh where are the wildlings! Are the Others killing people in the villages? Or have they all gone off to join Mance Rayder's army?

Next is Arya. They come to a village near Harenhaal that is also deserted (nice parallel there). This desertion is because of the war. Yoren insists that they stay in the keep for the night where there is at least food. Arya falls asleep and is woken up apparently by a wolf that no one can hear. (Nymeria?! COME BACK!) Then the watch sounds a horn. Lannisters men are coming to burn the village. Yoren refuses to open up to show them that they are the Black and not the other side. [Btw, I don't really get why he doesn't just open the door and be like, look not on the other side, leave us alone]. They come to take the keep and Arya has to whip out needle to defend people. I note only that she screams "Winterefell!" presumably blowing her cover. A lot of people die but she ends up escaping with a few and the crying girl from the other villages. Also, she apparently goes back to free the three criminals who were chained up and apparently being burnt alive. (Eh, let em burn...). End with her crying.
CB Note: Arya is a Stark of Honor! She'd never let people burn like that! I remember being pretty excited during this chapter! Arya finally getting to fight! I loved that she screamed Winterfell without a thought. I also didn't get why Yoren didn't open the door. Maybe he didn't trust them to leave them alone either way?
JN Note: nice b2b empty village note. Oh howling wolves... Nymeria wru?! Yoren didn't open the door b/c they would have killed them anyway. these are the raiding and pillaging Lannisters (I believe it was Ser Amory Lorch's group, if not Gregor Clegane's). Yoren knew they were safest in the holdfast. Like cb, i loved how she yelled Winterfell, it was so Arya of her. as to her cover... As to the 3 criminals... well... Arya has a heart and compassion, even if they seemed they might be bad people...
RK Note: These Lannister savages love to kill everything in sight, even the men in Black! (Sidebar where I hum "Here come the men in black, galaxy defenders..."). So they had to kill or be killed... Glad Arya escaped down the tunnel. RIP Yoren.

Aaaaand cut to Tyrion who is with Cercei who has gotten word of Stannis' letter and she is pissed. Tyrion finds it rather amusing how angry it makes her when it's obviously true. Littlefinger comes up with a scheme to start a rival rumor that Stannis' daughter is really his wife's with that creepy fool dude. So devious. Tyrion then goes through this whole secret passage in a brothel arranged by Varys so that he can see Shae. They talk a little bit about who they think told Stannis about the incest that they both know actually did happen. It's really annoying to me how obviously true it is. Cercei is f*ing annoying and someone needs to smack her!
CB Note: Totally hate Cersei!! And really, who actually believes her?
JN Note: Cersei, with an 's'. This is a lol scene. everyone knows, and Cersei is acting all indigant, its totally a case of Whoever smellt it dealt it. That Stannis rumor was pretty lame i thought. Patches or whatever his name is just says dumb rhymes. "It's really annoying to me how obviously true it is" - except in Book 1 until it was revealed... :) I love how the Red Keep is so Clue-y. Varys, how do we get to the Conservatory?! Btw, what's the dilly-o with that big chain Tyrion's making?
RK Note: Yes it's very Clue, and also very Harry Potter secret passage-y.

Cut to poor Bran in Winterfell receiving visitors. He really just wants to be outside playing with the other boys but he can't. Poor kid. How can they expect an eight year old to do all this! I had to leave in the middle of the chapter but he is receiving guests who are proposing things for Robb and talking about how much food to store for the upcoming winter.
CB Note: Poor Bran! The heir to Winterfell has gotta do what he's gotta do!
JN Note: this is a pretty confusing chapter. probably, b/c bran is overwhelmed. what's a crippled boy to do all alone in the North!!!
RK Note: And what's up with Bran dreaming he's a WOLF? He has such a connection with Summer that he dreams he IS Summer!

ANTM Venting

CB is finishing her antm between show, and just listening to these judges give meaningless criticism and arbitrarily decide who is good and who is bad makes my blood boil. i cant take it!!!
JN Note: i loved when that girl went up and was like "tyra eliminate this other girl who doesnt want to be here" and then tyra tried to act all indignant and whatnot. tyra's head is bigger than . i cant think of anyone big enough. help in notes, please.

LOST Mar 25 Ep

LOSTing a day late. we saw Rock of Ages on broadway last nite. all i can say is... THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!!!!!!

1:00 - omg sayid met ben in prison. cb totally just nutted this was a sayid ep based on the previously on... well done baby!

2:00 - cb asks if this is a flashback. she is right we havent had one in a long long time.
CB Note: It's def the first flashback we've seen in a longgggg time.

3:00 - awwwww. that lil chicken was so cute!!!! i want one!
RK Note: Sayid... born to be a killer, killing just comes naturally to him. Interesting. Perhaps reinforced for him by the praise he received for it as a child. Oh it all comes back to childhood...

4:00 - i dont like these prune hamantashens...
RK Note: Barf prune hamentashens ew. One time, I got a danish, and I thought it was a blueberry danish, but really it was a PRUNE danish, it was so disgusting.

5:00 - OMFG. ben asked sayid if richard sent him!?! what does ben know?! 4 years ago he ran away and met richard? - cb totally points out that this means he's been there the entire time our Losties have been... do they expect me to believe that Sawyer and Juliet didn't interact or do anything with him??
RK Note: Problems with this. Back seasons ago, we saw when Ben arrived on the island with his father off the submarine and his father was given his assignment as a janitor, and Ben looked VERY much the same age as he does in these current episodes even though allegedly at LEAST four years has passed, and probably more since running off to the Others probably wasn't Ben's first move immediately upon moving to the island. Although, I guess there has been a couple of years between filming the episodes so the actual actor kid must have aged a little too, but he sure looks the same to me! And clearly he has not aged FOUR+ years. And really, Sawyer and Juliet couldn't have paid him a little attention these past four years and been nice to him to perhaps try to make him NOT EVIL in the future? Teaching him like, genocide and the brutal murder of innocent people is bad? I mean he clearly is lacking some sort of mother figure, step in, Juliet!
CB Note: They probably backed into this somehow with the timeline. The kid definitely looks older, perhaps not 4 years older, but I dont think there's anything to read into it. He was supposed to be 8 when he got to DHARMA, now he's 12. The 4 years would however explain Richard's hippie hair when meeting Ben, if that happened before our Losties saw him in 1974 with short hair. Also, they were probably going with the Farraday thinking that you can't change the future, so they should just pretend to not know who Ben is and not get involved.

6:00 - totally nutted that sayid the assassin for ben was gonna cap that russian.

7:00 - cb called it a "JN nut". what's that mean?

8:00 - we chuckled at a guy who looks like horace trying to intimidate sayid...
CB Note: A guy who looks like Horace? You mean...Horace?

9:00 - what's sayid thinking? it looked like everyones having a good time at the party in dharmaville!
RK Note: I know right?! Sawyer had an awesome plan of having Sayid defect and come live with the Dharmies! Who wouldn't take up an offer like that, fun in the sun! AND even if Sayid was intent on getting vengeance and killing child Ben, he STILL could have managed that probably more easily if he had just infiltrated Dharma and lived amongst them quietly. Sayid's just being unnecessarily stubborn!

10:00 - lol at hurley on juliet and sawyer. i enjoyed it.
RK Note: I just want to know-- what kind of dipping sauces "really bring out the ham"?
CB Note: Skate 4ever!

11:00 - is that janitor ben's dad? i think it is. and i got it before cb.
RK Note: Much like Sayid's childhood shaping his adult tendencies, looks like Ben's daddy-o really fucked him up too
CB Note: Baby, you said, is that Ben's dad? And I said "yes" - I don't think that counts as you getting something that i didnt =p

12:00 - i think little ben is a good actor.
RK Note: Little Ben is so cute!! Cuter than harry potter even!
CB Note: I wouldn't go that far...

13:00 - this scene of ben talking to sayid in latin america at habitat for humanity gives us some idea that ben had john on ice for quite awhile. when did sayid save hurley at the mental institution? the start of this season?
Rk Note: He totally had Locke on ice FOREVS.
CB Note: How long does a body stay if frozen?? FYI, googling that question did not help...

14:00 - any guesses on who crazy guy is? i have none...

15:00 - verdict says some random guy lol.
RK Note: I was ALSO hoping it would be someone who we had met before and would be a big nut! Not so much. Also, his idea of torture is giving the guy like acid or truth serum or something? He's really no Sayid when it comes to torture.

16:00 - "he's our you" - good one!
RK Note: Also the title of this episode-- thanks Tivo for telling me that!

33:00 - ooh, we are gonna get to see what happened to sayid and how he ended up arrested by those peeps.
RK Note: AND we're going to get my whole theory about how Ben called the cops and then intentionally ran into Sayid and got into a big fistfight and Sayid beating the crap out of Ben and Sayid getting arrested and extradited completely SHOT DOWN. Raisin. Still don't know how Ben got beat up, I hope he didn't kill Penny!
CB Note: Per J's new rules:


34:00 - we thought this was the cop on the plane with sayid. but she's not acting very cop-like... i dun get it.
CB Note: Is "we thought" code for: Caryn said, "hey that's the cop girl"

35:00 - so it was just truth serum? wtf is sawyer gonna do...

36:00 - hilarious. they're just gonna think he's totally crazy. and not ask the right questions. "Ask sawyer!!"
Rk Note: "Maybe I should have used half a dropper..." Hilarious. Sayid naming all the dharma stations that aren't even built yet, and when asked how he knows saying, "I'm from the future!", hilarious, such great dialogue here!!

37:00 - lol now he's telling them they're gonna die. this scene is very well written.

38:00 - cb thinks juliet made kate a mechanic to keep an eye on her... catfight MEOW!
RK Note: Juliet wants Kate to STAY AWAY. I hope she does too. Stupid Kate.

39:00 - why is rusedski gonna call Ann Arbor for a decision? is he going to the Michigan - Notre Dame game?
RK Note: Who is behind Dharma! Mysterious!

40:00 - god dammit dessler! jack bauer woulda found a way!!!
RK Note: HONESTLY Michelle, you were way better with Tony than with Horace.

41:00 - cb is moing at sawyer for making the vote unanimous. but i understand, he's gotta protect his life with juliet! id do anything to protect juliet...
RK Note: His vote didn't really make a difference, and he gave Sayid like 55783760343 chances to either join Dharma OR escape, and Sayid is just not interested!

42:00 - oh, so they weren't cops. their bounty hunters, like bobba fett!
RK Note: I LOVE Boba Fett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This woman was like Booby Fett.

43:00 - "even a new mom wants you dead." lol. why exactly is sayid there?!? i hope he thinks its to atone for his sins and crimes. b/c it sure isnt to kill ben linus - faraday would tell you that sure aint happening...
RK Note: RAISIN?
CB Note: That's why he THINKS he's there - to kill Ben.

44:00 - any guesses on who sent the flaming bus? we gotta assume it was ben right?
CB Note: That was my nut! How come you dont mention that! =p

45:00 - lol at "3 years and no burning busses..."
Rk Note: "And you guys are back for ONE day..." Great dialogue this ep

46:00 - lafleur just called all security to the building. the guy watching the screen goes. cb: "i bet ben did it". been there, predicted that... see 44:00.
RK Note: Nice nutteroo!
CB Note: You know baby, I'm really tempted to stop reading your blog

47:00 - also, we still dont know who beat ben... did we think it was connected to desmond or penny?
CB Note: If you can't remember, you're denutted of any nuts you might have.

48:00 - this bounty hunter woman is stupid. she should listen to sayid and get off that plane!!
RK Note: Do we think Ben had something to do with the bounty hunter in the first place? Or was the Island/fates aligning to make this all happen so Sayid would wind up on that plane?
CB Note: Well, on one hand...Sayid was in LA because of Ben (who told him about people harrassing Hurley) and had just left Ben (when they were all talking in that parking lot.) And since Ben was the one who told him to kill the guy who the bounty hunter was working for, he could have tipped her off. On the other hand, the look Ben gave Sayid when he got on the plain was one of slight surprise. Michael Emerson is such a great actor.

49:00 - how on earth did that van not like directly see them? who is it? i bet its somebody we know. nutted. jinzor.
Rk Note: Can't believe Sayid knocked Jin out!! Not nice!!

59:00 - ummm. shock on our couch. its impossible. he cant be dead. unless the others are gonna somehow revive him... regardless of how they explain, awesome that sayid manned up and did what he had to do to save the future, even if it wont really do it.
RK Note: OK SO-- if we believe Faraday's theories that the past cannot be changed and the past has already happened and shaped the future, then this was MEANT to happen and happened in the past, which means Ben survives being shot in the chest (Perhaps Dr Shepard can help operate on him to save him? OH THE IRONY) and then has major trust issues over this guy he trusted shooting him, though you'd think it would make him HATE the hostiles, not still join them, so maybe Ben learns the truth about how Sayid is from the future and how in the future he's all evil, but if he learned that as this cute sweet little kid, why wouldn't he try to AVERT that future? Maybe Juliet saves him and that is why in the future he's all obessed with them being together and recruiting her to come to the Island? Maybe Adult Ben KNOWS that Sayid needs to go back to the past and shoot him in the chest as a child and so knows Sayid must return to the Island? ALTERNATIVELY, what if the past CAN be changed and will change the future, ala Back to the Future? But it's IMPOSSIBLE, Ben can't have died, it would make no sense. Therefore child Ben must live. Maybe Jin's gun was like a BB gun? Maybe it missed vital organs? Maybe it was shooting blanks and little Ben just fainted from shock? Maybe being shot just totally fucked up his head and made him the evil man who kills his own people and is Adult Ben in the future? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!!

A Clash of Kings Entry 4

I won't have too much to write not because I didn't read but because it's already the evening and I haven't had a chance to blog until now.

I read a chapter on Theon Greyjoy (is that the right name?) who was Ned's ward (to ensure that his father behaved). TG was goign back to his father with a message from Robb and is excited b/c Robb is offering to make him a King of the iron islands in exchange for support. Oddly graphic scene where the captain's daughter goes down on TG (a BJ for TG?) and oddly enough TG is kinda generally musing about life during. (I think this is more narrative license, so I will let it go). He gets to shore and meets his uncle who has become some sort of priest. Yet another interpretation of the comet (this time God is on Their Side). TG goes to the castle after an odd remark by uncle about the uncertainty of whether TG is his father's heir instead of his sister. He goes to see his father who is not impressed with the offer and throws it into the fire...unwise move! Father G suggests that he is going to reclaim his crown by force but hints that he will be going elsewhere other than the 7 kingdoms. I hope he doesn't mean to go towards Dany! Her dragons will kick his ass.
CB Note: Ding ding ding! Theon Greyjoy is correct! I remember being surprised about the BJing going on. On her daddy's boat! What a ho!! Seems that TG is quite the charmer tho...
JN Note: Theon is quite the ladies' man. He's also a total horndog, i love it. What do you mean by "narrative license"? Balon (Theon's pops) is a total dumdum. it was a great offer!!! I think its safe to say he wont be sailing after Dany... she doesn't have a kingdom for him to take from her! she's got like a khalasar of a few hundred people and a deserted city. survey says.... RAISIN (gosh darnit cb, WHERE IS THAT PICTURE OF A RAISIN WE AN LINK TO?!?!?!)

RK Note: I am afraid that he intends to march on WINTERFELL! :( That BJ scene ESPESH caught me by surprise because this Theon chapter was the chapter at the end of AGOT that was like "and now a preview of ACOK" and I read it before I started ACOK, EXCEPT that the bj part was left out in the preview version!!! Perhaps too explicit. I get the impression TG is a bit of a douchebag from this chapter.

Speaking of, next chapter is Dany (finally!) who is following the comet east. (I told you the comet was gonna be something to do with Khal Mellin!) They go across the desert and everyone is sick and dying, including her servant who taught her how to pleasure Khal Mellin! NO!!! She finally gets the dragons to eat seared horse (Ew!). Finally they reach a deserted city and set up camp. The city has water and fruit and so they start to get better. She sends out her bloodriders to explore and one of them returns from some of the other eastern cities with people who want to see the dragons. Also, scene with Mormont Jr. about his former wife and how she left him. Also Dany thinks how perhaps Mormont likes her as a woman not a queen. (She's 14...really, is she a woman. Also this makes him a creepy pedophile!) She suggests she will never have another man after Khal Mellin (who tends to leave that impression on women!)
CB Note: Seared Horse, what a delicacy! Maybe Dany is like Rachel (per the song game) - Not a girl, Not Yet a Woman. Hmm...14 yo done with men for ever?? Like that'll last!!
JN Note: its not a comet, its a khalmet... no? not funny? hmmm. dude, i was devastated too when that handmaiden died. was it doreah? i mean, that is important stuff to be taught!!! Who are these three people who want to see dragons??? Good note by cb. I suppose we coudl start referring to dany as britny...
RK Note: They better not try to TAKE Dany's dragons!!!

That's all for today. Sorry kiddos.
JN Note: you can make it up to us by being helpful on saturday's shopping excursion. oh, also, Blue Smoke is on you too...

A Clash of Kings Entry 3

First, a conversation between Jon and Mormont. A very hilarious discussion on how Samwise Gamgee, err Sam, is weird and but at least smart. Then they talk a little about the Maester and Mormont tells Jon that he had actually been offered the throne at some point and turned it down! He comments on how Jon must feel a bit jealous b/c Robb is now King in the North and he is a servant of the Wall. At some point I think we need to figure out who Jon's mother is. Does his mother perchance give him a claim to the throne? Wait, do we already know who his mother is? I seem to remember some dream memory sequence with Ned in the first book but I can't quite recall. JN? Don't give anything away, just let me know if I should know this already.
CB Note: LOL I always think/say Samwise Gamgee also!!! :) Also, under no circumstances is JN allowed to answer you re: Jon's mother!!!!
JN Note: will LB torture himself thinking about what i wanted to write here but cb vetoed??? i bet he will. In other news, i also always think of samwise gamgee when i read about samwell tarly. Apparently, LB, i cannot let you know if you should know anything. Cb has spoken!!!
RK Note: WHO is Samwise Gamgee?!?!?! This whole thing is TOTALLY like How I Met Your Mother.
CB Note: Samwise Gamgee is from Lord of the Rings!

Next back to Arya who is heading up the Kings Road with Yoren. It's an arduous journey. There is all this hinting about wolves and one night Arya goes into the woods to make water (lol) and she is surrounded by some growling wolves. Yoren notes philosophically that the real wolves are the men in wolfskins who burn villages. They are hinting at something to do with Nymeria. I hope Arya gets her wolf back!
CB Note: Oh Arya! (That's all I got)
JN Note: I believe cb made a "make water" reference a blog ago for laffs. oh poor wolf-less Arya! i suppose it could be worth, at least her Lady isn't kaput!
RK Note: Arya and Nymeria are TOTES gonna be reunited soon!! Nymeria is SO the giant she-wolf leading that pack of wolvesies!! And I think that the wolves all left Arya alone when she was making water because they could tell Arya is a Wolf!

Back to Stannis, through the eyes of the Onion Knight (Name). This red lady is pretty crazy and has convinced Stannis to burn all the old gods and do this whole ceremony thing for their new god. Stannis has to walk into the fire and pull out a sword. Funny scene when his glove is lit on fire and he leaves without the sword. All very silly. Next thing you know they'll be asking him to drink some wine and pretend it's a god's blood! Note the parallel to when Jon burns his hand after fighting off the two waits (sp?). Onion goes to an inn where he speaks to this pirate friend of his who he has convinced to come to Stannis's side. He tells the original and creepy story of the "burnt" sword, which involved the hero dude killing his wife. How heroic. Onion is summoned to Stannis who is going to send him with announcements that Joffrey is the product of twincest and he is the true king.
CB Note: The Onion Knight's name is Davos. The crazy red lady is Melisandre. Jon fights the wights. Very interesting parallel! Hadn't thought of that. The pirate friend is Salladhor Saan. Man, if I was Stannis' wife, would I really want him to have the sword that was forged from the guy killing his wife???
JN Note: I am henceforth referring to Davos as Onion. Also cb jsut chopped some Davos'es and now my eyes are watering. Stannis' wife is as religiously cuckoo as Melisandre, she'd prolly like it! tho cb makes a good point, she totes shoulda been like "umm wait a minute...". The original story that Salladhor San tells is super cool imo.
RK Note: This red woman kinda scares me!!! Here's a question-- how did Stannis KNOW the twincest truth? Because I thought that when Ned wrote the letter to Stannis telling him the truth, it was confiscated and never made it out of the Red Keep! So either somehow Ned got out another copy of the letter that we didn't learn about in Thrones, or Stannis has another source to this information!!

Unfortunately I had to stop reading at this time!
JN Note: awww, poop. i was just gettin rollin'!!!

A Clash of Kings Entry 2

I began my ride home by finishing reading about Tyrion. He met with the Queen and she was upset that Papa Lannister didn't obey her royal decree to present himself. (She is so full of it). Tyrion promised he'd figure out a way to get Jaime back. He's witty enough that i'd be worried but I don't think Robb and Catelyn would let him out of their sights. He goes to visit his woman that he brought with (despite his dad's orders) who he is holding up at some brothel. Varys that creepy spider is there and makes it clear that he knows about her. Varys leaves him with a perplexing riddle (priest, king, rich man all give orders to have the other two killed. King promises titles, Priest promises absolution, rich man promises wealth. Who survives?) We don't get an answer. I wanna know the answer!
CB Note: Damn that Varys! He's so riddly. I think maybe the point of it is, you can never know for sure who will die, cause it's up to the man with the sword! Thoughts?
JN Note: JN Notes, come and get them while they're hot!!! Varys is riddly and trixxy, until the rain comes, and washes him out of the spout... As for this riddle, i can't remember if he eventually tells you the answer or Tyrion figures it out, or its just left there. Im pretty positive that hte riddle is partly explained at some point, if it wasn't already.The woman Tyrion brought is Shae, his whore from the camps that he met before the battle he was in.
RK Note: I think the rich man wins, because a sellsword is willing to be loyal only to the highest bidder. Shae and Tyrion are the cutest couple. Sharion. I hope this love can last and Varys doesn't betray them to Tywin or others who will put an end to it.

To Bran who is depressed and having dreams of wolves. They are not letting Summer sleep with him b/c Rickon's wolf (Name?) bit one of the kids of the dude who Catelyn sent to watch over Winterfell (Name?) Cute sequence with Bran howling with the wolves. I tend to forget that Bran is only eight because the author writes as if he is older. Then again, people apparently grow up quicker in these books what with the whole teenage marriage/preganancy.
CB Note: Rickon's wolf is named Shaggydog. He is wild and crazy! He bit Little Walder, one of Walder Frey's many many children/grandchildren. I've also always imagined Bran as older. If you watch Weeds, I've always pictured the younger brother, Shane Botwin, as Bran, even though the aging is a bit off.
JN Note: Cb answered the easy questions already, unfortch. Little Walder and Big Walder are the kids of Lord Walder Frey, of the Crossing - the one Catelyn and Robb had to cut hte marriage deal with. Part of that deal was taking these kids to Winterfell as wards - it helps cement ties between families when kids are sent to other families. For example, Ned and Dead King Robert were wards of dead Hand Jon Arryn's when he was the Lord of the Eyrie before the war that ousted the Targaryens. Wards are also used as hostages, ie Theon Greyjoy. more hummorously, Bran is TOTALLY Shane Botwin. Hopefully mm or lb watches Weeds, bc this is a total nutzor.
RK Note: I completely picture Bran as a little kid of 8. I wish I watched Weeds because I don't know Shane Botwin! But I think Bran is written to act MUCH like a little kid of 7 and then 8, albeit a little kid forced to grow up quick in these rough times and with a tendency towards prophetic dreams. But he was an impetuous little kid thinking nothing could hurt him when he climbed all over Winterfell and got pushed/became crippled, and is still an impetuous little kid wanting to ride outside in the forest on Dancer even after the disaster where he almost got killed in the woods. Also WHAT is up with Rickon's personality that Shaggydog is so wild and out of control? I feel like each one's wolf reflects its owner's personality, so Rickon must be an unruly, fearsome and unpredictable little four year old if Shaggydog is just like him. I think Bran would be happier if he were with Summer, so I feel sad for him that Shaggydog's violence led to Summer also being penned away. Also, Bran appears to have dreams in which he IS Summer!!! Awesomeness.

Back to Arya who is traveling up the kings road. Apparently most people are heading south towards Kings Landing b/c of the wars. They stop at an inn and some of the Goldcoats from Kings Landing appear to get one of the boys. Arya thinks its her (him?) but it's one of the other boys (Bull or something?) Yoren won't let them take him and there's a bit of a scuffle before they leave. I wonder who this dude is. Obviously Yoren took it upon himself to help people escape. Um Aren't you supposed to be neutral when you take the black? I guess it's more of a Swiss-type neutrality where you still help the Lannister's hide money or something.
CB Note: JN Note style "Who could the boy be?!?! I wonder!!!" Ah, I amuse myself. Yoren seems like a good guy. Also, JN or MM might clear this up, but I know Yoren is a recruiter for the Night's Watch, but does that mean he's also a knight of the night watch?? If not, that would kind of be somewhat of a reasoning for why Yoren might try to help people when he can.
JN Note: Who could that boy be?!?! I wonder!!! Firstly, Yoren is almost definitely not a knight, although some Night's Watchmen are (Ser Alliser Thorne, Ser Waymar Royce). Yoren's just a regular guy. He definitely took it upon himself to help Arya escape. I'm not so sure if he is helping the Bull escape, or if The Bull is really just taking the Black for his own reasons. Unrelated, i enjoyed the Swiss neutrality Lannister's as Germans joke.
RK Note: Disappointed LB missed this easy nut that the Bull is Robert Baratheon's Bastard Son! Put down an RK Note on it, I think its the same one we met in A Game of Thrones briefly! Anyway I think Yoren is NOT on the Lannister's side and knows they'll kill Arya and the Bull if they got them, so he's taking them away to help them and help keep them safe. I think the Bull is the bastard son we met who was forging armor or something like that as an apprentice to someone and Ned went to pay a visit to him when he was trying to figure out the Book and Bastard and noticed immediately the strong jawline and coloring so much like King Robert's. But, I think the real trick is that the Bastard didn't KNOW who his father was, so he doesn't know he's Robert Baratheon's son. Poor Bull.

Cut to Jon at the wall preparing to leave to go on a big expedition to find Ben. He has a chat with Sam who is sent to find maps and gets caught up in the huge trove of books and maps that the Wall has. Sam cannot find too many maps. Um, haven't they heard of the Dewey Decimal system!? They go to give the maps to Mormont who is leading the expedition and sadly at this point my subway ride comes to an end and I must stop...
CB Note: I have nothing much to say here, so I'll go with my standard response of I love said character: I love Sam! :)
JN Note: I don't think they even have card catalogs. Just think of all the knowledge lost over 1000's of years b/c these books are a mess. I bet they regret that!
RK Note: These old maps seem like pure AWESOMENESS! I love that sort of thing, I wanted to learn more about all the awesome old tomes in the library!! Such coolness!!

JN Note: Missing from this blog were comments on Maester Aemon's history, as told to Jon by Lord Mormont. I thought LB might comment on this since it came up in yesterday's blog.
RK Note: Maester Aemon could have been a king!! But he totally didn't want to and just didn't have the right temperament. Much can be learned from this wise man... Also no one has mentioned how the Citadel where the Maesters are trained sounds incredibly awesome and sort of like Hogwarts but like the college/grad school version!

A Clash of Kings Entry 1

A good Monday morning to you all. Also, good luck on day one of indentured servitude, err work, to JN. Alas this will likely delay JN Notes but we will survive.
JN Note: JN Notes were indeed delayed. Perhaps cb should step it up and start noting herself in the morning lazybones!
CB Note: CB Notes are worth the wait!!
RK Note: So whoever put the over-under on my finishing a Game of Thrones at May 21st, whoever picked over, was way wrong. Raisin!

The prologue in this second book was very long and it took me a while to get through because it introduced new characters. We are introduced to Maester Cressen, the old Maester at Dragonstone and adviser to Stannis (Robert's brother). Stannis is pissed off because his younger brother has claimed the throne after Robert's death but more importantly, no one is joining him. Stannis' wife is counseled by this creepy woman in red who speaks of a new religion and Maester Cressen is not amused with her and is plotting to poison her. Cressen finds out that Stannis is forcibly retiring him in favor of a younger Maester and when he tries to poison red lady, she somehow survives it and he ends up being poisoned.
JN Note: this prologue was definitely difficult, with the story slow and all the new chars. it was important though. This Melisandre sounds very trixxy. The Maester died from the poison but not her! Stannis you'll remember has been MIA since mid Game of Thrones - the Lannisters were wondering what he was up to. As to all this religion talk, i don't know if i believe in the Lord of Light, The Seven, or the Old Gods of the North...
CB Note: I'm an Old Gods girl myself. If it's good enough for Ned Stark, then it's good enough for me!
RK Note: I'm VERY much an Old Gods girl, too, the godswood seems so peaceful. The Red Woman not dying from the poison reminded me of in the Princess Bride, when that guy has poisoned BOTH of the cups, but has spent the past few years building up an immunity to iocane powder, so he was able to drink the poison and survive. I think its way creepier that she has red eyes. I was really wondering what Stannis was up to, and now we know.

One thing from the prologue, the comet. There is this bright red comet that is appearing everywhere and the Red lady is trying to say that it is her new God and it means good omen for Stannis. We see in later chapters that everyone thinks that the comet is an omen for or against them. Interesting little theme on how people can always interpret natural events to mean what they want and what is favorably politically. Reminds me of my favorite Bob Dylan song, With God on Our Side. See http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/fahrenheit911/withgodonourside.htm for the lyrics. But a taste:

"Oh the First World War, boys It closed out its fate; The reason for fighting, I never straight. But I learned to accept it, Accept it with pride. For you don't count the dead, When God's on your side.

When the Second World War, Came to an end. We forgave the Germans, And we were friends. Though they murdered six million, In the ovens they fried. The Germans now too, Have God on their side.

I've learned to hate Russians, All through my whole life. If another war starts, It's them we must fight. To hate them and fear them, To run and to hide. And accept it all bravely, With God on my side."
JN Note: I loved the lyrics. Great philosophical note by LB, and totes true.
CB Note: I did enjoy how everyone was interpreting the comet for themselves. Who did you think it was meant for LB??
RK Note: Very deep, LB. RK would like to nut the comet being flame from Dany's dragon's mouths! I'd also like to nut that I nutted this at the first mention of the comet in the book, prior to any fictitious characters speculating about it being from dragons.

Next to Arya. Turns out the night watch dude is not trying to harm her. He cut her hair and is smuggling her out of the city to get back to Winterfell. She has to pretend that she is an orphan boy going to serve on the Night Watch. Funny scene where Arya kicks the ass of this boy who is trying to take her sword. I hope she gets home safely!
JN Note: The Night Watch dude is Yoren. He actually made appearances early in Game of Thrones. Loved that scene of Arya beating up Lommy Greenhands (or was it Hot Pie?). Cb did too i bet. Love when Arya is badass.
CB Note: I've always been an Arya fan :) I was worried too when she got taken like that! It's funny that she has to pretend to be a boy. It's especially hard when she has to make water!
RK Note: It was hot pie. Arya is so badass on her own, imagine what a force to be reckoned with she'll be when she's reunited with Nymeria! (Who apparently now is leading a pack of she-wolves on her own).

Cut to Sansa who is attending the tournament for Joffrey's 13th name day. She has learned to put on a brave and happy face so that Joffrey doesn't harm her. I have at this point forgiven her because she seems to have realized she was dumb. I hope she somehow is able to get a message from her family and do some serious spying/damage to the Lannisters. Joffrey is such a little prick. The tournament is a joke because no champions are really allowed in and Joffrey gets bored until Tyrion enters from the north as an envoy from the Lannisters. He charges in and heads to the Queen who is meetin gwith the council.
JN Note: awww, LB forgave Sansa!!! I'm not sure if cb ever did. Zero certainly never did. She's learned that its not all knights and stories and feasts and Ser Loras... Joffrey is the PITS!
CB Note: What are you talking about?! We've had numerous conversations on my thoughts about Sansa!!! Btw, you used that line about knights and stories and feasts and Ser Loras in the last blog. Come up with some new stuff plz. Anyway, as J KNOWS, my feelings towards Sansa did change once Ned was killed and we started to see how Joffrey was treating her. I don't know how Zero can be so cold, how can you not pity the girl?? She has to keep up a front to keep from being hurt, it's so sad!
RK Note: Who is Zero??? Anyway Sansa was dumb because if she hadn't gone and told the queen about Ned's plan for them to leave Kings Landing, she and Arya would have gone back to WInterfell together without a hitch. But now Sansa realizes what a fool she was and she regrets it, and its totally fucked up how Joffrey has his guards beat her, she's such a battered girl! But he never asks the Hound to beat her, and the Hound seems to be sort of on her side... I get the impression the Hound secretly does not care for Joff at all.

Tyrion has a message from Lannister, which is that he is to serve as Hand until Lannister can return. I get to the point where Tyrion is about to talk privately with Cercei and has a few jokes with Littlefinger about the bad luck of the past 4 hands.
JN Note: The message is from Tywin. and, The Imp is back bitchez... betta' recognize!!!
RK Note: Hoping Tywin can whip that douche Joff under into submission. Also so cute how he brought his whore with him to Kings Landing and is keeping her at his inn with his mountain men (and women, Chakka Daughter of Chett or whatever). I hope Tywin doesn't find out and have done to her what he did to Tysha though....

A Game of Thrones Final Entry

Well, with nothing to do in Springfield, NJ, I read...a lot. Enough to finish the book. I'm not gonna go chapter by chapter because it's to much. Just a few general thoughts.
JN Note: fortunately for the readers of this blog, i will take it upon myself to go back and make sure that notable events are properly noted. Also, can we get a Clash of Kings picture in here LB?
RK Note: I find it EXCEPTIONALLY disappointing that LB did not even do a long blog entry after I waited and waited for over 300 pages since the last entry to discuss the details of this book, and am now being left in the cold!
CB Note: No clue why I didn't note this originally, so I suppose I'll do it now. In LB's defense, he read those last 300 pages in a like a day and a half. That can be overwhelming to blog about!
LB Note: I would comment, but since I wrote this blog several months ago, I am unsure how to respond...
JN Note: lets just hope LB steps it up and blogs the last 300 pages of ASOS soon! They make the last 300 pages of AGOT look like The Bernstein Bears.

First, I feel some pity for Sansa, though not too much. I was so pissed off at that dumb ass little snot Joffrey when he told her that he did in fact show pity on Ned--he could have made the death much more painful and drawn out. I hope that someone kills Joffrey in the next book and soon. Better yet, don't kill him, something that would absolutely humiliate him. Ugh.
JN Note: Poor poor Sansa. First she runs and tells cersei. then joff promises her not to kill Ned. Something tells me life wont be all knights and tourneys and flowers and Ser Loras from now on... Joff... well... he's only like 12 or 13 i think, 14 maybe, but he sooooo deserves to die. i hope he gets what's comin' to him!
RK Note: Joff is one evil douchebag, is all I have to say! AND a dumb one at that, since Cersei and Tywin all agree that beheading Ned was a stupid move and lost their chance of leverage at trading hostages for Jaime. But Sansa was a vapid little idiot for running to Cersei in the first place and also for siding with Joff about the incident with the direwolves that led to Lady being killed-- Sansa sure would be better off if she'd had her direwolf around, don't you think? She could have sicced him right on Joff! She SO should've pushed him off that ledge when she had the chance when he forced her to look at all the heads on spikes. He's so cruel!
CB Note: So....no discussion of the sadness about Ned dying?! I don't know about you guys, but I cried...
LB Note: I still cry...
JN Note: i expected a lot more rk commentary on how she half nutted ned having to be killed uring a long winded email or previous blog. and some sadness and remorse. rk is heartless!

I was very upset that the Khal died and even more so that Dany made this horrible bargain killing her baby in order to give the Khal a half-life. (Khal's life was kinda like Voldemort after he split his sole or whatever). The thing with the dragon eggs. Wow. I wonder if she is gonna fly in and try to take the thrown or end up takin someone's side. Also, found out that the maester at the wall is actually her relative. Does this lessen her claim to the thrown?
JN Note: i totally didnt see the Maegi Mirri Maz Dur being traitor to Dany when Dany was trying ot be nice. so sad about the Drogo, despite hte age difference, since they were actually a good relationship in the end. Fortunately, Dany's no dummy, and she knew that its blood for blood, life for life, and she won out in the end! i thought the Dragons born chapter was awesome, and a great end, but cb was surprisingly down on the chapter. or just didnt think it was as awesome as i did. i think its bc shes a lame girl or something. As for what Dany will do next... start reading Clash of Kings! That is Maester Aemon up on the Night's Watch. Also, Throne is spelled Throne, not Thrown x2. Maester Aemon's story is told at the end of book 1, and maybe more to follow, but he does not threaten her claim -> Maesters are servants, Night's Watch serves for life and gives up all their claims and doesn't take part in regular wars - his story gets told so that you can study what Jon does in comparison to him.
RK Note: LB slipping a little with "Sole" and "Thrown" x2! Now I can see why he graduated second in our law school class, Joe Mueller would never have made such errors. :-P Anyway being in the Nights Watch means you give up all other familial ties and stuff so Maester Aemon won't have anything to do with a claim for the throne. I REALLY hope Dany can fly on the dragons when they grow up, sort of like if they were hippogriffs! It reminds me a lot of the dragons in Harry Potter, which were awesome (book 4, my favorite of all the HP books). I was SO SAD Drogo died, Dany really loved him after that first sweet night of unbraiding his hair and making love, and I also did NOT see it coming that the Maegi Mirri Maz Dur was going to be an awful evil TRAITOR. Dany SAVED her, as best she could when she got there, and was such a heroine rescuing those women from being gang raped and murdered, and the Maegi repays her like this?!?! That evil whore. I am so glad Dany burned her at the stake, she deserved it! But oh Drogo, so tragic, so sad that most of the 40,000 men of the khalasar just deserted when he was sick. So let's talk about the baby that came forth from Dany's womb, Rhaego... It sounds like he looked like a DRAGON, with his batlike wings and stub tail... Was Dany going to give birth to an actual DRAGON all along? And he just died from going into the tent of death with the Maegi and trading his life for Drogo's life, but would have been born a dragon anyway? Or was he like a real baby inside of Dany but then died and turned into a weird dragon in the trade of life for life? I mean, WEIRD, people giving birth to dragons, sort of like people giving birth to litters of rabbits (I hope Mike Mellin reads this blog for that reference!). Anyway I was like super disappointed with the book's ending UNTIL reading the last chapter with the dragons being born!!! I think that is AWESOME, Dany KNEW there was warmth inside those eggs and something special, and I LOVE that the dragons hatched! I hope those dragons are as loyal as direwolves and I hope they grow to be big and strong and firebreathing and I hope she flies in on them to the Red Keep and they breathe fire on Joffrey and all the Lannisters and kill them and melt the Iron Throne! I am rooting for Dany to take the throne, Joff needs to be unseated and the Lannisters suck, and the Starks/Tullys don't WANT the Throne, the Starks should just be Kings of the North and rule Winterfell, and I hear bad things about Stannis and Renly Baratheon and I think Stannis is up to something shady with his inaction, and even though Stannis has the "true claim" to the throne, its only because they had a coup and killed the Targaryen king, so I think Dany is the one with true rights to the throne and I hope she wins!
CB Note: Yikes there's a lot of writing up there. So I'll start with the fact that I don't really get why you're so disappointed with the ending of the book. I actually was thrown off by Dany's chapter at the end cause of its weird sci-fi-ness. Anyhoo. I don't think Dany was always going to give birth to a dragon, I think it would be a regular boy except that she went into the tent when Mirri was doing her stuff.
LB Note: Had I gone to Cardozo when it was Tier 1, I'd know how to spell better. Concur with CB.
JN Note: first off, HOW THE TIDES HAVE TURNED since those days of "ewww hes 40 and shes 13"!!!!! second, the baby was likely normal til mirri took a life for a life. Dany has to learn to not be so trusting! these maegi are bad news! her handmaidens told her so - it is known after all! As for the Baratheons, maybe they will be some of the Kings Clashing next book....

There's gonna be some sort of conflict with teh Others from north of the wall and something has got to happen. Perhaps some sort of temporary alliance? Winter is coming!
JN Note: I'm pretty sure this is a contender for Most Obvious Nut Ever, amirite?
RK Note: Like, not even a nut at all. I think the armies are being sent the wrong way and the wars over the iron throne are misguided because they need to be worrying about fighting those baddies in the North. HOW COULD LB NOT EVEN MENTION THE WIGHTS??? Those ALIVE DEAD PEOPLE GHOST EVIL BLUE EYED BLACK HANDED PHANTOM THINGS!!!!!!!!! That is some scary scary scary shit. And I am afraid Benjen Stark is gonna come back as one! I can't wait to hear about the Night's Watch big mission beyond the Wall where Jon Snow is going to get to go out with them. I hope they stay safe!! Also I am SO glad that Jon's buddies came to save him from becoming a deserter of the Nights Watch and talked him back to the Wall, AND now we know why he was made a Steward and he's going to get to go out as a squire like he was a Ranger now anyway! Mance Rayder might be gathering his forces, but I bet there is something even worse than Mance Rayder out there... LB I am BEYOND disappointed in you for ending this blog entry with this meager commentary. So glad JN has other things of note to add!!
LB Note: See LB note above.

JN Note: Other things of note -

- since everybody's always complaining about who is having sex with who, and who is marrying who, im surprised there was no complaints about Catelyn arranging her kids' marriages just to make a war alliance with Late Lord Frey.
RK Note: I am actually OK with that. Also why is he Late Lord Frey, when did he die? I don't recall that! I recall him being like 80 years old and refusing to die.
CB Note: Late Lord Frey is his nickname, because during Robert's Rebellion, when Hoster Tully (Catelyn's dad and Frey's bannerman) called all of his people, Walder marched slowly and arrived after the Battle was over. I think it's also a play on the fact that he's so old and there have been several times where people have assumed he wouldn't live past a certain point and he still is alive.
LB Note: Starks always do their duty and they need the Freys. There cannot be a complaint about this.
JN Note: also, i just noticed you were darkening my font color. cut it out!!! Late Lord Frey's name is indeed a reference to him waiting to see which side was gonna win the Baratheon v Targaryen war, then joining the winning side at practically the end. (he was "late" to the battlefield). Frey himself thinks its a reference to his old age. to clarify, the Tullys rule hte Trident, and Frey is under them in the feudal hierarchy, altho hes very powerful bc he holds hte Crossing.

- Robb ambushed and captured The Kingslayer!!! omg w00t!!!!!
RK Note: Most brilliant war strategy and ambush ever! So happy they captured that douche Jaime, I hope they don't let him go!

- Who took Arya at the end of the execution?! what will she do?!
RK Note: YOREN!!! I bet Arya will be OK because shes super resourceful and self sufficient, but I hope she finds Nymeria soon because the girl could use her direwolf!
JN Note: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT.

- Tywin was a meanie to Tyrion... but then it looks like things are looking up for The Imp...
RK Note: Tyrion will DEFINITELY be a better ruler than Joffrey, if he can get Joff to do what he says
JN Note: fat chance?

- Jon almost deserted the Night's Watch when he heard about Ned. so sad. Good thing they brought him back.
RK Note: YES! See my comments above!!

- King in the North!!!! GREAT chapter i thought, lots of excitement when its declared. woohoo go Robb!
RK Note: YES YES YES!! SOOOOO happy Robb is King of the North!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Back to the old ways!! Ned would be so proud....
LB Note: Wasn't going to say anything, but since RK threw the gloves down...King in the North!!!
JN Note: zing!


Unfortunately, i dont think ill be able to Note tommorow til i get home. prolly shouldnt be noting on my first day. CB can do the first round of notes in the morning i think.

That's it 'cause there's just way too much to blog about.

RK Note: The Hound was kind of nice to Arya when Joff was being a douche. I think there's good in him. I hope someone kills Gregor soon. Maybe a dragon/direwolf teamup. I'm glad Catelyn got to see her dad on her deathbed. Also WHAT is going on at Winterfell when Bran and Rickon BOTH dreamed and just somehow knew that Ned had died. Prophetic. Also that Osha woman totally has some info about whats going on in the North... Also, saddest story ever about how Tyrion once married that whore when he was a teenager and what Tywin did when he found out... Super sad. Now he's got the new whore and Tywin seems none too pleased about it, but sounds like hes bringing her to court!
CB Note: Sansa, not Arya. So it seems like you did enjoy this book! As a first book in a long series, it's supposed to have everything up in the air more than tie up endings, I thought it ended in a really good place and makes it exciting to go on and read book 2.
JN Note: The Hound: good or evil?! as for these dreams.... trixxy! its like i told LB, pay more attention to the dreams! (he never did, so he starved all winter bc he had no nuts). as for Tysha, this was indeed a sad story. poor tyrion, nobody ever loves him :( as for rk's negative email comments a few days ago, i thought the book ended pretty good, with the ned storyline, arya vanishing, jon getting sent north, robb king, and the total awesomeness of Dany, MOTHER OF DRAGONS!!! i was sad cb was weirded out, but glad you liked it! dany totally knew those eggs were gonna hatch, she'd tried to warm them up multiple times earlier in the book. it was great how she knew and life 4 life-d mirri the maegi- EAT IT BIYOTCH! i think LB and cb can tell you that book 2 is as good as book 1, and book 3 will be the best book youve ever read.

onward ho!

p.s. who relies on mm for anything anymore????

A Game of Thrones Entry 9

Two more things I hate:

1. Getting to work super early to prepare for a 9am call, only to find out the call has been pushed to 11am.
2. Snow on the first day of "spring"!
JN Note: We are home! and exhausted! im so tired from all the dancing. and the hangover. and i start work tommorow. oy. i hope you spent those 2 hours reading! Also, it could be worse than snow on the first day of spring... Winter could be coming...
RK Note: Justin's font is far too close to mine!! Anyway so sad I am only now up to this entry when that day was ages ago. Where did you do lots of dancing? It COULD be worse, Winter could be coming, as the Starks do say, so ominously... in our world, i'm soooo glad summer is coming!! its SO nice out today!!!
CB Note: So obviously, I never noted this the first time around because LB wrote it whie J and I were in Baltimore for my friend's wedding. Spring is coming! Yay! Oh and also, while I'm here, I'm gonna darken J's font cause it IS way too close to RKs!

JN and CB are in Baltimore, but I hope they will still be able to note. It was a big day in Game of THrones land, as you shall see, though again I had to stop reading at a very inopportune moment (I also almost missed my subway stop b/c I was rather focused on the book...)
JN Note: see above. i loved the story of almost missing the subway stop. The books are that good!!
RK Note: So true!!

I start with Viserys crashing Dani's party and *gasp* he brings a sword when there is not supposed to be any weapons or bloodshed in the holy city. What a jackass!? He's drunk and talking about waking the dragon and stuff. Khal Mellin F*s him up! He says somethinga boutgiving him a crown and ends up putting a heated metal helmet on his head. Dani's ending thoughts about how fire would not have killed a dragon suggest that he is dead. Is he? If so, good riddens...
JN Note: Great chapter here! Everyone hates viserys, and hopes he gets killed, and then the Khal crowns him. its so awesome. For all the gamers out there, this could be considered hte origin of the phrase "facemelting". Drogo literally melted vis' face. Good riddance... i agree!
RK Note: SO it seems like Viserys might be dead, and who can live through being crowned in a molten gold crown with an iron pot, BUT, Viserys also seems like sort of a major character who didn't get developed very much, so is it possible he'll somehow survive but be hideously disfigured, which naturally will make him even MORE evil and terrible than he already was? OR, he's just dead. Clearly this is a nash-style nut and I'm actually not even attempting a nut at all, I'm just pondering. Anyway, if he's dead, a fitting end to him!
CB Note: Well, Viserys always wanted to be crowned! And he got the crowning he deserved!!
JN Note: some gamers believe that this scene sparked the origin of the verb "to melt face", which means to completely dominate your opponent in 1337 sp33k. as for rk, sometimes she really stones up, err i mean racks up, and goes for the nut. other times, she just oscillates like a wussychipmunk. take a stand woman!!! as for this scene, its hard to be more thrilled than when viserys finally gets his!!!

Cut to Ned being summoned to Robert's room. Turns out Robert was drunk and got mauled by a boar and is dying. No shock there. Robert sends everyone out of the room and dictates his will naming Ned protector of the realm until Joffrey is of age. Ned changes this to "heir" b/c he knows that Joffrey is not really Robert's son. Sneaky sneaky. Robert's brother suggests that Ned take the thrown then but he will not (damn honor). Something bad is going to happen. You know that Cercei has something up her sleeve. Ned then talks to Littlefinger and tells him to pay the city guard to back Ned if there is a confrontation with Cercei.
JN Note: Stupid Robert! getting mauled by a boar! what is this, LOST? That was pretty slick of Ned, slipping in "heir" for Joff's name. I bet you thought that was smart LB... until... well... you know... Oh Ned, always being so honorably. shoulda listened to renly :( And then... Littlefinger... BAELISH!!!!!! great plot twisting and stuff imo.
RK Note: Ned is WAY too honorable for his own good and assuming others will be equally honorable is his downfall, it was so clear here that this was NOT gonna go over well and he REALLY should have 1) sent arya and sansa off STAT in the middle of the night; and 2) bided his time a little more slickly. he should NOT have showed his cards and told cersei he knew the truth, he should have FIRST told Robert, and as it turns out he couldn't tell Robert in time, he should have told Stannis, and others, FIRST. He revealed his hand too soon by telling Cersei he knew and it came back to haunt him. As if he thought those Lannisters were going to let anyone else have the throne! Not a chance. TROUBLE.
CB Note: So true re: Ned. He's not the best player in the game of thrones. He's too noble! That's why we love him so much, but that's also why he keeps getting outwitted by the more devious players.
JN Note: well if theres one thing we know about ned, its that hes the most honorable dude ever. except for the bastard thing. as for cersei, ned just didnt want to have royal family being killed like when the lannisters killed princess elia and her children.

Next, Jon at the wall has convinced them to elevate Sam to Night Gaurd. He will be a steward for the Maester. However, Jon is shocked that he is named a steward as well instead of a ranger. He is mega upset but Sam suggests that they are grooming him to be next commander of the Night Guard as he will be serving the head dude. This placates Jon and they head to give their oaths/aka be bar mitzva'd. After they read from the Torah, err, say their oath they have become men of the Night Guard. Ghost has come with thema nd returns with what appears to be a human hand. I hope this isn't Ben's hand!!!!!
JN Note: Head dude is Jeor Mormont. and yes, sam, while cowardly, isnt quite an idiot. he is the son of Lord Tarly after all. Speaking of bar mitzvahs, have you ever been to one where the mizvees rode in on elephants? It's the Night's Watch btw. ohnoes, dehanditated hands!!
RK Note: you went to a bat mitzvah where ppl rode in on elephants?!?! awesome!! justin i want to see your choreographed bar mitzvah dance again!! ANYWAY i was SO CONVINCED jon was NOT gonna take the oath and leave the night's watch!! but he took it! and hes probably much safer up by the wall anyway given the drama about to ensue. ALSO why wouldn't the horses and dogs go near the corpses? CREEPY. Also Sam is like a regular CSI with figuring out that the men didn't die there but that their bodies were brought there. So, was it the Others? Is Richard Alpert out there killing in creepy ways?
CB Note: Lol. My parents went to a Bat-Mitzvah for these twin girl relatives on my dad's side of the family and it was crazy lavish and the girls literally rode in on elephants. Crazy stuff! When did you see Justin's choreographed bar mitzvah dance?! I've been begging to see his bar-mitzvah video for years. I better get to see it soon babe!!! And Rachel, to be fair, I guess I have to post this for your Jon guess:

JN Note: ive been waiting for this raisin for a longgggggggg time. also, +2 for that richard alpert reference and CSI: The Wall. fyi, id watch it if it were on tv!

Cut back to Ned. Robert has died and he attempts to get the king's council to confirm Robert's will. They are summoned by Joffrey on the Iron throne and when Ned attempts to arrest them, the city guard turns on NEd. F*ING LITTLEFINGER! HE'S A TRAITOR. I will be honest I had an inkling he was not good and at one poitn thought perhaps he was the one who sent someone to kill Bran. I did not say or blog it though so no nut credit. Sigh. Bastard. He says something like "I warned you not to trust me." Asshole.
JN Note: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I bet this made you crabby... wait, did somebody say crabby? Now sounds like as good a time as ever for somebody to link a picture of our newest authentic suffed Maryland Crab... Anyway, can never tell with that littlefinger. There was another great line earlier, where Ned says like "i should have trusted you" and Littlefinger replies "Not trusting me was the best decision you made..."
RK Note: Ooh we def need a picture of your new stuffed animal. I loved how here when all the gold cloaks turned on the Starks, Littlefinger goes to Ned, "I told you not to trust me..." ANYWAY the question on everyone's mind right now, clearly, is, "is Ned dead?" Here is my thinking. On the one hand, he's like the main character of the book, so they can't kill him off. On the other hand, it is TOTALLY unrealistic if they DON'T kill him, because the main danger he poses is the KNOWLEDGE he has that Joffrey isn't the true heir and that Cersei and Jaime are big twincestuous traitors, and killing him should be the Lannisters' #1 order of business in order to ensure their secret doesn't get out and Ned is silenced permanently before he can do them any damage. Killing Ned is the CLEAR wise decision, and they're evil, so they'd have no qualms about doing the deed. So if Ned is being like held for trial or held for a hostage or held for some collateral or something, which he might be because he's like the main character and how can he be killed!, then its also totally unrealistic, because Cersei is a crafty witch and way too smart to keep Ned alive.
CB Note: Oops, I dont think we have a pic of crabby...let's check my phone. All I've got is this pic of me and Crabby reading...

JN Note: that crab is SO CUTE!!!! get another picture. its a good thing i made cb adopt him. whenever cb gets crabby at me, she just gets comforted by Crabby instead! great deal! as for that roudnabout and detailed Kurth of Flowers thought process, i say man up, err i mean rack up! and and go for a big juicy RAISIN!

To Arya who is having her final lesson when some Lannisters come in to "summon" her. Instructor dude knows something is wrong b/c Ned would never send Lannisters. He tells her to run and he fights off a whole troup of Lannisters. I had to stop reading as Arya is running away and Instructor dude is about to get killed by someone b/c his wooden sword has been splintered in half. Terrible subway timing!!!! GRRR
JN Note: Syrio Forel! Save Arya!!! this was exciting, cb liked it. good thing arya escaped. i knew she would. i beleve she killed a stable boy too. go arya!!
RK Note: OMG arya, SO smart she didn't try to find her father and she just fled through the cellars, she is a VERY clever little girl, and good thing she found Needle so conveniently at just the right time!! but where to go now, she'll never make it back to winterfell safely!! SO SAD about syrio forel by the way... good thing Arya remembered Jon's first lesson and stabbed with the pointy end!
CB Note: Love Arya!!!
JN Note: im pretty impressed that rk remembered that first sewing lesson that jon gave arya.

A Game of Thrones Entry 8

Two things that I hate:
1. Having to stop reading in the middle of a chapter.
2. People in a crowded subway train who do not look where they are going and then collide into me and don't even apologize! Garrrrrrrrr
JN Note: I hate that too. Sometimes when we are reading at nite, cb finishes her chapter, and then she's all "time for bed!" and im like "im still in the middle of my chapter 10 more pages" and she's like "tough nuggies" and turns out hte lights. then im all "pffft!" and i pick up Hamlet and smack cb. As for number 2, sue them for battery!
CB Note: When CB says it's time for bed, it's time for bed!!
RK Note: I also hate when the subway ride ends in the middle of my chapter!!! Sigh major bummerness. I've started reading on the subway but that means like 2 pages per subway ride because my subway ride is ridiculously short.

Anyway, I began with Jon up at the Wall who has been named as one of the eight in his training class to take the Black. He should be excited but good guy that he is, Jon is upset about Sam (?) the fat clumsy kid who he had been protecting. He tries to get the Maester guy up at the wall to convince them to take Sam as well. Methinks this move will have some positive reprucussions in the future.
JN Note: Samwell Tarly is the fat craven kid, yes. The Maester is Maester Aemon. As to this positive repercussion nut, it sure sounds like a Justin-level nut to me... of course, this kid is fat and a coward -> maybe he'll F up something really big, so... it could also be a giant raisin. can we please get a pic of a raisin cb that we can post below big raisins???
CB Note: No we can't. And stop saying, you're right LB, it could be this OR it could be the opposite of this.
RK Note: I nut that perhaps Jon won't take the black after all, I get the feeling he is having second thoughts, and up until he swears his oath he isn't at risk of being a deserter for leaving! I think Jon has bigger destiny ahead of him than a terrible cold miserable life at the stupid Wall.
JN Note: This is the kind of nut i can get behind. Swinging for the fences. Going big or going home. Sort of reminds me how Tin Cup went for the green on 18, dunked it in the water, then kept trying, until he finally holed it out for a 12. Did anybody else watch the end of Tin Cup on ESPN2 last nite?

Back to Eddard who is sitting on the throne while Robert is on some hunting trip. He hears the grievances of these two villages that were raided apparently by that Mountain dude who is a bannerman to the Lannisters. Against some people's advice, Ned strips the Mountain dude of his title as knight and sends people after him to bring him to justice (although Ned denies the Flower Knight the chance to do it and the King's justice dude....this may become a problem!)
JN Note: The Mountain that Rides (Gregor Clegane) is such a meanie!!! He totes shoulda sent Ser Loras (Flower Knight) and Ser Ilyn Payne (King's Justice, sans tongue). Instead, he sent Beric Dondarrion and a bunch of other dudes. As to Ned's decision to strip him of his titles, he had to - true knights don't go around killing villagers - just ask Sansa!
CB Note: Not Ser Loras! *Swoon*
RK Note: WHy do I think killing the Mountain that Rides is gonna be a tough one! And rile up those Lannisters!! Oh I would have gone as Kurth of Flowers!
JN Note: That Mountain has dubble trubble written all over him!

Sansa was at court watching Ned send people after the mountain and she's upset he didn't give the Flower Knight a chance. Sansa really pisses me off btw. How old is she supposed to be? Is she also 13 like Dani? She is so much less mature. What a striking dichotomy! This whole I want to marry Joffrey and have his babies and blah blah..grow up!!! She gets into a huge fight with Arya as usual after Arya throws an orange at her staining her dress and throws a tantrum runing up to her room. After a while ned summons the two of them. He is sending them back to Winterfell for their own safety. Arya is upset but Ned placates her b/c he is going to try send her "Dancing" instructor with him. (Hillarious that this is all she cares about). Sansa is clearly not gonna take this lying down. She's going to try get Joffrey to intervene. Maybe the queen, albeit she hates the queen after the queen ordered lady to be killed.
JN Note: Sansa is 11 when the book starts i believe. Definitely between 11 and 13. Arya is 9 i think, Bran is 7. Robb is 14 and Jon 16? That said, it is quite a dichotomy between Dani and Sansa. Of course, Dani grew up on the run from assassins and in hiding, so life wasn't all Nan's stories and snow for her as a kid! However, i do find your sansa hatred amusing, so keep it up. Lol at "as usual" re fighting with arya. Arya is a true ladywolf - she loves Needlework and Waterdancing, duh! Was there an attempted nut at the end of that entry?
CB Note: Def interesting to note the differences in age/attitude. Sansa is a couple years younger than Dany, but their lives have been complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Sansa has been pampered her whole life while Dany's been in hiding. And now she's being exposed to savageness and war and Sansa is exposed to the royal court (also a bit savage in it's way). I just love Arya. Oh Syrio!
RK Note: Dany is 14 now! She got preggers on her 14th bday. There is a big diff though between 9 (age of a 4th grader) and 14 (age of a 9th grader), Sansa's still a little kid, plus the facts of Sansa's more sheltered upbringing vs. Dany's.
CB Note: But remember that Sansa is like 11/12 not 9 (that's Arya's age). So it's like she's in 7th grade.
JN Note: it's really about her sheltered upbringing in the north with the Starks, away from the intrigue and dangerous people in King's Landing. oh Sansa Stark, you know nothing :(

Back to Ned who gets news that Papa Lannister is pissssed about Ned sending people after Mountain dude. Ned gets a visit from LIttlefinger whom we do not know whether we can trust. Littlefinger spies the big book that Ned has that previous Hand had been reading and makes some cryptic remark. Ned calls for a secret meeting with the Queen in the godswood. A few revelations here: first, Ned knows more than he is letting on. He reveals he knows that Jaime and the Queen are not only brother/sister but creepy lovers. Also, we learn that all of her kids are products of their creepy twincestuous affair. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Those must be some F*ed up genetic freaks!!!! Ned tells the Queen that he will tell Robert and she should exile herself to one of the Free cities with her family. One thing is certain, she will not go quietly.
JN Note: Papa Lannister = Tywin. Ah, the age old question of life - To trust, or not to trust, that Petyr Baelish... What cryptic remark did he make? I wanna know! This topic got discussed extensively in gchat, as i explained the awesomeness of it and how Jon and Ned and people figured it out, but... THE SEED IS STRONG!!! to make an analogy, its like how Dani and MM's kids will be born with an aptitude for delivering the post. "Those must be some F*ed up genetic freaks" - As Barney would say: "hiiiiiiii, have you met Joffrey?" Most obvious nut ever, amirite?!
CB Note: Yes yes, the seed is strong. Barathon genes overpower Lannister genes. So how'd these fair-haired children come about?? :) Oh, twincest.
RK Note: RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT RK NUT!! Nutted it via gmail, but still a nut nonetheless! But as Justin noted, only a 90% credit nut because I didn't figure out how the book helped Ned to figure it out.
JN Note: guys, was this an RK NUT? i cant really make out what's written in hte note above mine... Also, i enjoyed the explanation via email about how RK was all "how are they gonna know without a dna test?"

Back to Dani who has to eat a stallion heart as part of this creepy ritual to see if her baby will be a boy etc. Stallion heart is defintiely not kosher and ewwwwwwww. She does well though and it is apparent that this match with Khal Mellin was a good one! While Mellin is indeed a barbarian he apparently is taken by Dani. So taken that after they go to this ritual cleansing thing (a mikvah?) in the middle of it all and in front of everyone he boinks her. How romantic! She names her son after her fallen brother. Rhaego or somethin'. They have a feast and Viserys is not there. He's out seeking non-barbarian wine at the market. Methinks he is plotting something.
JN Note: im not sure actually, at that place in the middle of the desert otw to Eilat i think they were selling Stallion Heart Burgers. I'm not sure though, i couldnt read hebrew, and i dont trust Snir. Sounds kinky... Rhaego - a combination of Rhaegar and Drogo. Oh Viserys.... when the dragon's woken...
CB Note: EW Stallion Heart. Blech. Couldn't they have at least cooked it for her??
RK Note: I almost threw up when she had to eat the Stallion heart. I mean, I never even saw anyone have to do anything that gross on fear factor! I was also appalled when they had sex in front of everyone!
JN Note: obviously youre not a voyeur.

Unfortunately, in the middle of a chapter, I arrive at my subway stop...
Good blogging today LB. But i was disappointed in the excitement over the twincestots revelation :(